Unlucky Endeavor
by Dragoon120
Summary: Alexandra McCallistair is taking her father's advice and sets off to learn about the world, but she just happens to come across Lothering at the wrong time. She gets roped into the mighty quest of Emmit Hawke, and how does she cope with knowing the only family she knows of is still back in Ferelden? What's her part to play in Hawke's quest in Kirkwall? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Dragon Age, Bioware does, and they do a much better job of writing the stories than I do.**

**This is an OC story of Dragon Age 2. DA:O might be my favorite, but I like the story too much to add anything into it.**

Alexandra McCallistiar, that's the name. Nothing like good old fashion wandering to lighten the heart, that's what Father told me. He said one becomes wise by seeing. If only he were wise enough to send Daniel with me too. That way I'd have more of a chance against the darkspawn. Though, Daniel is at Ostagar, and no letters ever come my way from Father. What if the blighted creatures caught them?

I need to stop thinking this way, seriously. They're fine, if anyone was to get hurt it'd be the idiot walking around while darkspawn and civil war brew. Now... Map.

I pull out the map and look around, It's obviously the Imperial Highway. Though, bandits have sure taken their toll of the place. I look back down at the map and trace my finger on it until it reaches Lothering. Father mentioned Lothering before, when I asked him what he did in the old days. He said that he stayed in the Chantry as he bound books for them. What books do they have? Religious no doubt, but are they still in good condition? I smile weakly at the thought of the books turning out to be ruined by ill-use, destroying my father's careful work. Yes, a book-binder. He's retired now though, all the way back in Highever. Not that he didn't bind the occasional book here and there, but he never travels anymore. When I asked, he'd said it was because traveling is no way to raise a family. Traveling is just the Pilgramige to a greater knowledge. Thus, the result of why I am here now. Traveling on a Pilgrimage to a greater knowledge.

Look where that led me to.

Two men step in my way and I scowl, Bandits. "Pay the toll and you can pass missy."

The man's voice is oily and he's rather rugged, typical of highway men preying upon those unlucky souls who need a place to run. If they're running anyways.

"How much?" I ask, forcing away my scowl to trade for an emotionless expression.

The bandit grins, "10 silver coins and you can be on your merry way."

I sigh heavily and dig around my coin purse, mentally flinching as I realize that I've only got twenty silver pieces. With how things have been, it most likely won't be enough to by even bread. The last of my provisions were spent last night.

I take out ten silver coins and place them in his waiting hand, "Take your coin you leach, but you're feeding off the desprate will end soon. It's a little something called Karma."

They laugh, but I shove pass them and continue to Lothering. No, I do not believe in the Maker. None of my family does, not even Father. Nope, we believe in Fate. Fate can be changed depending on the path you chose, and all you have to do is move. Philsopical right? Well, that's how Father taught Daniel and me.

Lothering... A pleseant little town. If there wasn't the darkspawn threatening things. If I had to live anywhere, I'd say Lothering. I drift past the encampments of people just outside the gates and past a group of people muttering to themselves. I can just feel the tension in the air, like a bad smell that won't go away. Not to mention it does smell bad here. I smile at the Chantry and pad gently around the tense groups toward the sancuary. Judging by how things are, will they even let me in? There's got to be women and children hiding out in there, safe from these people and the darkspawn out here. With a deep breath I budge through and walk up the steps of the Chantry only to be stopped by a Templar. Why would he stop me?

"What's your business ma'am?" he asks in a sulry tone.

I give him an expression of taken back, "Can't I enter a Chantry? Is it not open to all?"

"Of course, but..." He looks surprised at how his efforts failed.

Then something happens that I didn't expect.

"Templar, are you stopping this women?" asks a male voice behind me.

I spin around and see a man taller than me with black hair and bright hazel eyes grinning at the Templar. "I was just on my way to this Chantry and here I see someone being denied entry."

"She's not been denied anything, she just looks suspicious." he says in a defensive manner.

I scowl, they're talking about me as if I am not even here! And I look suspicious?! I'm no more worn down than anyone else here!

The new-comer grabs my upper arm and leads me into the Chantry and I scowl further, "Um, hello? Who are you?"

The man stops and turns to me with a smile, "Emmit Hawke, and you are?"

"Alenxandra McCallistair, if you really want to know. Now, why did you help me." I cannot help but be suspicious when someone helps out of the blue. Twice already on my Pilgrimage I have almost been robbed.

Almost.

Emmit Hawke shrugs, "It's like I told the Templar. Now, may I ask what you are doing in Lothering? You don't look like the typical person who comes here running from the darkspawn."

There it is, he's prying out information. Helping the damsel in trouble and get information in return.

"For books, if it's really important. Now, thank-you for your help, but I can handle things myself, Mister Hawke." I say and walk away. I'm not a mean person, really, just... cautious.

Now where's that Mother? Or can I just go up to a shelve a start picking away books? I'll just go to a shelf. I walk up to a shelf and pick up a book on the History of the Chantry, Voulume I. I study the deligate binding, smiling at the care put into it. Fine leather protection and the pages stiched together kindly, and in the back there is a mark burned into it. The mark Father always uses when he binds a book, to show it as his work. They have taken great care of these books despite the times.

I close the book and place it back on the shelf, "Are you not going to put your pack down? I must be heavy."

I close my eyes and grumble before opening them and turning to the voice, "Didn't I tell you to stay out of my business?"

"No, you just said you could handle things by yourself." I cannot tell you how much I want to strangle him right now.

"Go pester someone else, before I call mage just so the Templars drag you away." I wouldn't, not really. I just need something to get him to go away.

I swear though, he turns a bit pale and tenses up. "That's not nessicary is it? We're all friends here right?"

I glare at him.

He sighs, "Look, why don't I make it up to you? You can stay at my house, no don't worry, I have a sister and mother there."

"How exactly is that any better?" I push.

"Um...? You don't have to sleep out here?" he tests.

I do not know how he thinks this can help, "Why don't you offer up a room to someone needier than me? I mean, look around, I'm way better off than these people!"

He flinches and I instantly feel guilty, yep that's me. I run my mouth off but end up feeling regret instantly afterwards. I'm just that soft. Maybe he was just trying to be nice, and I am just over reacting? I mean, lots of people offer room in their houses for random strangers right?

"Look, you don't have to accept it, I was just trying to help out." he says softly.

There it is, I break down.

I sigh, "Fine, fine. Now stop with the hurt-puppy act, you look like an idiot."

What can I say? I tried didn't I?


	2. Chapter 2

How did I get in this mess?

Riiggghhhttt I accepted Emmit Hawke's offer to stay here, after he continuously pestered me. Now here I am... Eating food with the Hawkes...

"So, Alexandra, where do you hail from?" asks Bethany, who I've learned is Emmit's younger sister. Apparently her twin, Carver, joined the army at Ostagar. I wonder if this Carver is talking to Daniel right now...

I blink, no need to think on that, it's impolite. "From Highever, actually. Though, lately, I've been from many places."

"Have you traveled with others dear?" asks Leandra Amell as she places a bit of stew in front of me.

"Others? Um... Not really. Another person was going the same place as me once, so we sort of traveled together. I never saw him after we parted. Other then that, no. I traveled alone, and will until I conclude my journey at an end." I answer. I know I've been cautious, but it's the truth. I'm not afraid to say I am on a journey to seek a GREATER truth.

Emmit raises an eyebrow, "You've been traveling all by yourself while darkspawn are about? What is so important for you to do so?"

I shrug, "I'm just following my father's advice. He called it a Pilgrimage, one to seek out the knowledge of the world. He use to always say one becomes wise by seeing."

"He sounds like a learned man," says Leandra.

"Yes, he is..." I say and gratefully eat a spoonful of stew.

Bethany smiles and I narrow my eyes, what's their angle?

Then I take another bite of stew and Bethany asks, "Why have you ended up in Lothering?"

This is answered by a shrug and, "I'm just happening upon it. I've already been to Lake Calenhad, Denerim, and I even visited Redcliff."

Leandra gives her a concerned look, "How long have you been traveling dear?"

"A few months, but I listen whenever something big occurs. I've enjoyed my time." I say and finish my stew.

"A few months? Don't you get tired?" asks Bethany.

I give her a puzzled look, "Why would I? I sleep when I need sleep, eat when it is required, and I get to explore the world. I want to go to Orlais and the Anderfels, all over Thedas actually."

"That's a lot of places to visit," says Emmit as he asks for seconds.

A lot of places to visit? Pffftttt, it will be a piece of cake. Not to mention it will be worth it, and the different cultures there could be to find.

Leandra pats my shoulder, "Well there won't be any more traveling today, you can sleep in Carver's bed since he isn't here."

I give her a wary smile and stand up, "Thank-you for your hospitality, it's refreshing to find kind people now a days."

Leandra leads me to a small room and leaves me to myself as I sit tensely on the straw bed. The Hawkes are friendly, but why not to others? No, I'll leave tomorrow. Maybe to Orzammar. I've yet to go there, and I've only seen merchant dwarves in very few amounts. But they seem so nice... No, Alexandra, you are not going to be soft on this matter. Lothering is a death-trap first of all, and I only came for the books. Nothing more, got it mind? Leave tomorrow.

{~*~}

"I expected you to leave as soon as the sun came up," says Emmit as I sit down at the table.

I give a forced smile, "Why would I do such a cruel thing?"

He shrugs and Bethany sits down beside him, "What books did you come to see anyways?"

Back to the questions it seems.

"The ones my father rebound before he stopped working as a traveling bookbinder." I say plainly, trying to keep my grumpy mood out of my voice.

"Your father was a bookbinder?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah... He stopped because traveling was no way to raise a family... Nothing really important right?" I am now getting uncomfortable with all these questions. I mean, I'm all for not having anything to hide, but this is like an unending interrogation.

Emmit leans back in his chair, "Why did you accept my offer?"

I glare at him, "So you'd be quiet. If there was any signs of attempts to poison me, I'd be out the door faster than you could blink."

Bethany nudges him and Leandra walks into the room with drinks, "Well, since you're here, what's happening out there? There's so many stories, and it's hard to figure out which is the truth."

I give them a morbid look, "Honestly? The armies have been winning the fights so far, but it's not the darkspawns' full force. The damage is still high though, and as far as I can guess, the darkspawn won't be letting up any time soon. There's whispers of an impending Blight, and I fear those whispers may hold true despite the wins. Because, when have darkspawn been seen in these numbers before?"

I doubt my words hold anything but dread for them. I mean, Carver is out in the army, so they have the life of a family member to think of. I mean, others don't right? Yes, I've been scared for Daniel ever since I learned he went off to play hero. What kind of younger sister would I be if I wasn't? I understand their fears completely, but I won't lie just because I feel sympathy.

"That bad?" asks Emmit.

I shake my head, "That's only what I've heard, and what I suspect."

Leandra frowns and says, "That's all for now. It's not good to dwell on such bad news..."

I get up and walk toward the door, "I'll be outside getting some fresh air."

I leave the house and stuff my hands in my pockets, fingering what little are in them. The air is fresher now that it's a bit further from the main part of the town. Fresh air... A Blight destroys that right? For a year fresh air is what I've lived with, it's like home... No one wants to lose their home, no one... What if Daniel is killed? I've not worried about my family being in trouble since I set out... I guess that even the threat of a Blight brings up worries.

I sit down on the ground and rest my head on my knees, my stomach queasy. This was all so much easier when I didn't talk about it... I mean, I could just ignore it, but now... Now I've brought it to my attention and it hurts. People are getting hurt every day and I'm running... I'm enjoying myself while others are dying... There's my soft side, feeling guilty over something I cannot control...

Fate is playing out, do I walk it?


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello reader, thank you for the reviews. They mean a lot, really. I don't like writing blind. Now, I would like to ask you readers a question... Who should romance who? I mean it's Dragon Age. There's story, action, characters, and romance. Now, I'm not use to writing romance, but like I said, it's Dragon Age. Also, no guyxguy or girlxgrl, because I'm afraid I am not skilled at all writing those kind of romances if any at all. I'd just like some opinions on the matter before I attempt on my own (plus I have no clue myself...). Anyways, thanks again, and please enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I of course do not own Dragon Age, because if I did I most likely wouldn't be here._

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I sit down on a bench and flip through the religious pages of a book I randomly picked off the shelf. A knight stands not far from me, which is a little strange. The books he picks out are that of the Urn of Sacred Ashes, which is a good tale if not real. The stranger thing is that he's in Lothering. Why come to this backwater town during such times?

Why did you come here? Why do you stay? Those are questions that puzzle even me.

I sigh and peer up, just in time to see a strange group of people... The woman sends shivers down my spine. She just screams witch. I peer back down at the pages of the book, trying to look everywhere but at the strange group. The dog reminds me much of the Hawkes' dog they let roam around. After a while I shut the book, put it back, and scurry out and away. I would typically ask newcomers about the events I have yet to hear of, but those do not look like the type of people to ask that.

Maybe they escaped Ostagar? News had arrived that the whole of the army was defeated, and how Loghain quit the field The Hawkes are now awaiting Carver, in hopes that he survived...

Has Daniel survived? I feel that dread every single moment, the fear that my brother might have died at the hands of the darkspawn like the army... I close my eyes and push back the fear. Fear is useless in this situation.

Why am I still here? Well, Daniel will never know where I am if he has survived, so why? Well, I guess it's because I'm one of those people who is just useless when it comes to abandoning people. The Hawkes were kind enough to let me stay, and now their waiting for a son and brother to return from a failed attack. I am just here to make sure they're alright I suppose.

I give one of my usual sighs and head back up to the Hawke family house, seeing the silhouette of Emmit, Bethany, or Leandra, I can't really tell, as well as their dog. I smile slightly and hike up to them (turns out it is Bethany), the dog giving me away.

"Heard from Carver yet?" I ask sympathetically.

Bethany shakes her head and Emmit says, "Do you really expect word to arrive in only an hour since you left? "

He is being humorous, but I can tell he's upset just like everyone else. Well... Like they say, war doesn't come without a price. According to the Chantry, even Andraste had to pay some prices for her war against the Tevinters.

"It's a hope. So, what-" I stop as I give a confused look.

"What...?" asks Emmit.

I point to a figure trudging over to us, beaten up and looks a bit like Emmit beneath all the filth. Is that Carver...?

Emmit's eyes widen and Bethany cries, "Carver!"

It seems I was correct...

I lay my head on my folded arms propped on the table, Leandra is tending to Carver's wounds. How he traveled from Ostagar is way beyond me. Leandra refuses to let anyone of us talk to him, so I have to wait to ask about Daniel. I'd let Bethany and Emmit see him first of course, but I need to know.

"How convenient is it that Carver shows up just as we are talking about him?" asks Emmit humorously. Does he ever tire of playing the light-hearted role? I mean, he always acts so cheerful.

"I don't-" Carver crashes into the room, gripping his great sword.

"We have to leave, now," he says, strapping the sword to his back. How can he carry such a large piece of metal?

Emmit gives his brother a confused look, "What? Why?"

"Why else? The darkspawn defeated the whole of the army, and Lothering is not far from the Korcari Wilds. " says Carver harshly.

Wow,they wait for him, and this is how he treats them? I mean, I understand the danger, but still.

"Look, you've just gotten back, and your family has been worried sick." I say, directing his attention to me.

"Who is she?" he almost hisses.

Emmit waves a hand to me, "Carver, meet Alexandra McCallister. Alexandra, meet Carver. Introductions have sought to, now care to settle down?"

Carver does not like this and hisses out a frustrated sigh, "Look, the darkspawn are coming. We don't have time to just calmly sit by!"

I scowl and stand up, my arms crossed. You'd think he'd be a little more thoughtful on telling them of this matter. The danger is high, of course, but this is not needed.

Emmit actually scowls then says, "Look-"

Screams erupt from somewhere outside and I darted to the door on instinct, looking outside to see buildings on fire. Okay, maybe Carver wasn't over exaggerating.

"We need to leave, like right now." I say as I turn to them.

Emmit nods briskly and darts to somewhere else in the room, prying away floor board to reveal...

Staffs?!

"Are those staffs?!" I asks in utter surprise.

Bethany morbidly nods and Emmit hands her one of them, keeping the other for himself. Mages... Of course. What else could they be? I mean, nothing is ever simple anymore. I just happen to have been staying with a family who has mages. Now it all makes sense.

I can't stand around thinking about it though.

I take a knife from the kitchen and say, "Now's not the time to question."

Emmit gives me a long hard stare, his friendly demeanor seeming to disappear. Being mages must really be a burden on them... Not now Alexandra, run first think later.

He leads us out the door where we are greeted by the instant damage caused by blighted creatures.

Some of those blighted creatures are right in front of us.

I swallow hard, the small knife in my hand now feeling useless. How can such creatures exist? Why would they be added to this world? They're sick and twisted, like things out of my nightmares. I nearly hurl at the sight of them, their rotting flesh and putrid smell. I dare not shut my eyes, for fear of being killed. This is life or death, and death is a high possibility.

Emmit releases a bolt of electricity and Carver darts forward with his giant blade. Bethany remains by Leandra and me shooting bolts at the creatures.

"We need to keep moving!" yells Emmit over the loud noises.

I happily oblige and we move out, with me dodging out of the way as any of the creatures near me while the others (minus Leandra) fight. I feel so useless... So very useless. I'm just a dead weight, but dead weight or not, I will stick with them.

As soon as that thought crosses my mind, a genlock charges at me. I jump to the right, tucking in and rolling right into a hurlock. I yelp and roll out of the way of a sword, jumping to my feet. I had dropped my knife. I take a few steps back, my heart beating a mile a second. I'll be shish kabobbed if that thing gets that sword at me. Suddenly the beast explodes from a bolt of electricity and someone grabs my arm, jolting me away. I defiantly

to not resist.

As we continue running from the group of darkspawn, my mind is racing with thought that cannot be processed yet. Too much is going on for me to just think, adrenaline will not last me forever.

Will we even make it for me to even figure out if I'm right on that point...?


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, thank you **Musicalrain **and **SurvivorHawke **for your suggestions and funny how you,**Musicalrain,** suggest__ the pairing between Alexandra & Hawke, because I had the idea of them after chapter 2 but had my doubts on the responses. Thank-you for your suggestions, I'll defiantly take them into consideration. :) Same thing with you **SurvivorHawke**. _

_I might just have two chapters for you reader tomorrow because a reward thing for school. If I do not, well... I'll pinch myself and post 2 chapters Saturday. _

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Dragon Age, of course, and if I did I wouldn't be here. _

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Now, dying is not a part of my plans in life. At least, not at my age. I still have twenty or more years to look forward to. Though, neither is darkspawn or running away from darkspawn with mages. MAGES! M-A-G-E-S. Seriously? I do not need any more trouble in my life. I never wanted any in the first place. But, I cannot think on this right now. I'm too busy running for my life right?

I stumble over my feet a bit as we arrive in a clearing, two dead bodies are the only ones I see. Dead. I choke back a sob and feel worthless as Emmit tends to a deep gash on Carver's arm. Luckily it was not caused by darkspawn, but more by how I tripped into him and he fell into a pile of debris. Worthless, that's how I can conclude myself to be. We cannot sit around for too long, it's only a short while for Carver's arm to be patched up.

I cannot get the images of the twisted features of darkspawn out of my head, or how terrible they smell. They ooze of death and corruption, yet they walk around and slaughter things. I bow my head and let it rest in my hands. So much death... I feel my stomach turn and feel eyes on me.

I look up to see Emmit holding out a dagger to me, where did he get it? Did he seriously take it from the bodies around us? I shrink back a bit at the thought.

He takes my hand and places the dagger in it, "We need to go."

I nod morbidly and grip the dagger, watching him walk away. I want these creatures dead, but my knowledge in self-defense ends at thugs and... Yeah... Not darkspawn. I'm at risk still of being infected, but only little less compared at attacking weaponless.

I take a deep breath and steel myself. I cannot be the girl who falls apart at every little thing that happens. Even if it's darkspawn...

We continue onward, only to be confronted by more of the foul creatures. I push back the bile I feel clutching my throat. They're everywhere we turn. Don't they ever run out? Carver instantly charges at them, not even seeming to have a second thought. Emmit is right behind him (technically), setting fire to darkspawn that come up behind him. Bethany shouts and I spin around to see more darkspawn coming from behind us. I leap to the left just in time to dodge an oncoming sword. I feel the familiar feeling of adrenaline rush through my veins, aware of their movements.

Now, I am defiantly not good at fighting.

I lash out with my dagger and feel an arrow whiz past my ear making me yelp. I completely missed the hurlock. With wide-eyed terror, I dance around the blade to take full advantage of the exposed back. I sank my blade deep into the darkspawn's neck and removed it to stab again. The black blood splatters away from me to my relief, and as it crumples to the ground I step back.

Pride rushed in, only faint against the lingering panic I still hold, and I look up only to frown. Emmit smashes his staff into the head of the last darkspawn of this wave. He looks up and sees me standing there.

"At least you took one down," he says cheerfully. Not that it helps my ego any, but I won't let a sense of competition get in the way of fleeing.

We continue until Bethany says, "Wait, where are we going?"

"Away from the darkspawn, where else?" says Carver. I scowl at him, now's not the time to point out the obvious in such a way.

"And then where? We can't just wander aimlessly." says Bethany. She has a point, we'll get no where without any sense of where we are going.

"Yes, and then where? Ferelden will be in chaos when the darkspawn spread further, where is there a place to hide?" I tactfully ask. Mostly it's rambling to myself, to sort out my own answer. Highever and Orzammar are the only places I can think of, yet Orzammar is completely open to the Deep Roads. Highever is most likely already in chaos, with most people probiblly thinking the same thing. As much as I would love to see Father after so long away, going to him is not the best course of action. If we go over seas, we won't be able to do anything for simply being refugees.

"As long as we wander aimlessly away from the horde, I'm happy." says Emmit like we're not running for our lives. I give him a scrutinizing look, and he just gives me a pleased shrug in response.

"We can go to Kirkwall," says Leandra.

I give a look of disbelief. Kirkwall? Even I've heard the whispers of how hard the templars crack the whip there. Emmit and Bethany will not be able to freely roam without the fear of templars figuring out their magic abilities. Why would she suggest Kirkwall?

"Well, that wouldn't be my first choice..." says Emmit with a hesitate attempt at humor. Does he ever try to at least be serious?

"There's a lot of templars in Kirkwall Leandra, do you really think that is wise? I mean..." I gesture at Emmit and Bethany. Emmit gives me a glare, his humor seeming forgotten at even a hint of me not agreeing to their magic. It's not like I'm going to turn them in or anything, I'm not even close to being that mean.

"I know that, but we have family there, and and estate." says Leandra. I frown, not liking the idea of leaving Ferelden... Leaving Father and Daniel... I press my lips firmly together and refrain from voicing these selfish opinions. They've helped me in more ways than one, and have been nothing but kind to me. I cannot condem them to stay in a decaying land for my personal preferences...

Bethany sighs, "Then we need to get to Gwarin and take ship."

"If we survive that long," says Carver in his still annoying pessimistic viewing. I will tolerate Emmit's humor if only to get Carver to see the good side of things for once. He's been nothing but a thorn since I met him, and I only met him not half and hour ago!

We walk forward and darkspawn crowd us, receiving a curse from my lips as I shy back to stay with Bethany and Leandra. I'll just get in Carver and Emmit's way if I join in their fighting. I'd more likely trip and make one of them fall on a sword than be able to help.

A creature slips past the two and I ready my dagger, but Bethany instantly sets fire to the creature. I almost hurl at the smell of the burning rotten flesh, only made worse by the screeching erupting from it's mouth. Then I look to the side and see people fighting.

People?

I notice one get cut down and the other tackles a darkspawn. As much as I hate these creatures, those people need help. Luckily, Emmit sees them too and waves Carver to that direction. I jog with them to the spot and watch in envy as they battle. I feel so useless, even with this dagger. I've never been truly taught how to fight, I've only known what Daniel deemed to show me from his Guard training. Most of it was hand-to-hand with a thing of straw and a knife. He never let me learn how to really fight outside of that, saying Father might disagree.

If only Daniel knew I'd be in this situation...

I yelp as a darkspawn gets it's head blown off not far from where I'm standing and Emmit yells, "Watch it Alexandra!"

I nod briskly and focus my attention to the fighting. I think way too much, which can get me killed in situations like this.

I stab a darkspawn that nears us, though I do not hit a vital point. I let go of the hilt and jump out of the way, feeling the metal run against the bare skin of my hand. I feel a lump in my throat and it's head is cut clean off by the red-headed woman who tackled a darkspawn. It's body crumples to the ground and I inch slowly to the corpse, plucking the dagger from it and backing away.

The man stands up and says, "Apostate, keep your distance."

A templar, of course...

"Well, the Maker has a sense of humor," says Bethany,"First darkspawn and now a templar. I thought they all abandoned Lothering."

The man scowls with hints of pain, "The spawn are clear in their intent, but a mage is always unknown. The Order dictates."

"Wesley..." says the red-head.

"The Order dictates." When the templar takes a step forward, Emmit steps forward as well. The only other time I've seen that look was when he took out the staffs. It's a look that clearly states that he will not let any harm come to any of his family.

"Dear, they saved us. The Maker understands." says the red-head.

Wesley continues the stare-down with Emmit for a bit before his body relaxes and he steps back, "Of course..."

"I am Aveline Vallen, and this is my husband Ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde." says the red-head, sorry, Aveline. I nod in agreement, ready to get out of harms way.

After a while of questioning the pair, Emmit smiles humorously, "The wrath of the templars is terrible indeed."

Ser Wesley glances at his wife as he says, "More so their wives." Then he turns serious again, "But as long as there is a greater danger, you and I have an accord."

"Thank you Wesley," says Aveline before she turns to us, "For now we move with you. North is cut off, we barely escaped the main body of the horde."

Carver scowls and says angrily, "Then we're trapped, the Wilds are to the south. That's not way out."

The corners of Emmit's mouth twitch up a bit as he says, "If the options are south or die, I'll take my chances with south."

I look at the scowl that almost always seems to be on his face, and cannot help but dislike how he acts. I've known him for now more then less than an hour and already have an opinion of him. In my case, that is not a good thing.

We continue for a while more, and I continue to be worthless as we run into more darkspawn. My forearm has a cut runing from my elbow to my hand and I wince as I move my arm to get a better look. Can I get infected from a cut? I bite my lower lip and gently wipe away some of the blood.

Emmit walks over and says, "Here, let me take care of that for you."

I don't resist as he gently takes my arm and dabs a common liquid made from elfroot onto the gash. I stings but it's better than letting it fester. Emmit puts the liquid away and wraps my arm in a cloth I do not want to know from where it came from, for fear that he'd respond that he got it from a body.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

"Don't worry about it. Just try to stay out of the way of weapons from now on." His smile is warm, and I feel a bit less irritated at his constant quibs.

I cradle my arm and we continue to a large clearing just up a slope. My nerves scream at me to find cover, to get out of sight. I resist, trying to seem stronger than I feel.

Suddenly the ground rumbles beneath us and my eyes widen in fear, fear of something unknown killing us. Fear that has been simmering since we stepped out the door. Why I feel it now, I have no idea. Maybe it's just my mind telling me something amiss...

Then there's a roar...

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_Okay, another vote. This one has been haunting me since the first chapter... Who dies? I mean there's an addition to the group and... Well I could go with the intended plot and kill Bethany (though I much prefer her over Carver), or kill Carver and keep Bethany... Or keep both, but then I'll have to insert conversation between them when there's only been one. (One hindrance is the Deep Roads... I mean Bethany/Carver dies, becomes a Grey Warden, or becomes a Circle Mage/Templar...) It's just another thing I'd like an opinion on. I've been enjoying trying to make Alexandra a new perspective on the game._


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank-you for the reviews. I have taken into consideration of what you have said, and sorry for this being short. I lost track of my task during my day at school and am trying to cram these two chapters in today in the little amount of time I have._

_**Disclaimer**: Do I even have to remind say that I do not own Dragon Age? Because I don't._

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I look around and then see a... A creature approaching us. It's a beast towering high who looks very different from the other darkspawn. I dash out of the way as it charges to the center of the clearing and roars a roar that makes my ears ring. It turns to Bethany and Leandra... It's eyes trained on it's prey... Then...

"Over here you foul creature. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you get!" Yells Wesley, his voice strained.  
My head turns swiftly to him and I see him standing there, a sword weakly pointing up. From here I can see he's not doing so well, his face twisted in pain. The creature swirves it's head to Wesley, and roars at him. I see spit fly from it's mouth and I also notice how far apart we are spread. It charges and...

It grabs Wesley, the armor crumpling and cracking as it squeezes. Wesley screams out and the beast smashes the poor man to the ground. I hear the breaking of bones from here an wince, he is dead.

Aveline cries out in anguish, and Emmit immediately attacks. My eyes are wide and I feel my stomach turn. Dead...

Everything happens so fast, and I gasp as a ferocious roar goes from the jaws of a... Dragon? It flies down, fire pouring from it's open jaws, roasting any darkspawn below. The smell wafts to my nose and I gag, which only halts when the dragon turns into an old lady. I blink, surprised. A human? No... No human can turn into a dragon. None.

"Well, well, what have we here? " She asks, the tone she uses rubs against my nerves. There's something not right about this woman, and not just the fact that she shape-shifted into a dragon.

I look to see Aveline Defensively standing over Wesley's body, her eyes cold and set. Bethany and Carver stand beside Emmit, who moves to confront the mysterious woman...

The Witch of the Wilds.

Who else could she be?

"It use to be we never got visitors in the Wilds, but now they arrive in hordes." her voice sounds pleased, like it's amusing to see the panic of people fleeing from these creatures.

"Impressive, where did you learn to turn into a dragon?" asks Emmit humorously.

I glare at him, "Now is not the time to joke around Emmit." I am in no mood for his quibs. Maybe this is how Carver felt when he got here, warning us about the darkspawn. Did I sound like a shrewd?

He shrugs at me and I give a sigh of frustration and walk over to Carver and Bethany. I'm sure Emmit can talk his way into trouble without my nagging. I look back over to Aveline, and feel a weight on my chest. I've never seen anyone die before, never. I've seen people mourning, but never have I witnessed death. Even though I may have just met the man, I still feel sad over his death. He seemed like a good man, one who knew when to let things go. The usual templar would take Emmit and Bethany as prisoners, despite the times. It does not help that I saw how he died... His face is battered and bloodied, his head turned at an unnatural angle... I shut my eyes tight and look away before I puke. I've seen enough stuff today to do just that, and I haven't. I'm not going to let myself puke now.

Then I notice where the conversation is going and ask, "What? How can we trust her? We don't know who she is really, let alone what she is."

Emmit gives me a reassuring smile, "It's just delivering an amulet in return for safe passage." It did not reassure me. I mean, I'm not the typical person fearing tales of the Witch of the Wilds turning us into toads, but I'm not stupid enough to trust her completely. Stories begin somewhere, and I believe it holds a grand portion of truth.

Emmit strikes a bargain with Flemeth and she leads us through the Wilds, her magic keeping us hidden. I watch Flemeth cautiously, and occasionally look to Aveline to see how she is holding up. Her expressionless expression has not left her face since Wesley's death, and I cannot imagine how much it must be hurting her...

I have to figure out where I'm going once we get to Kirkwall, because I won't keep burdening them. I cannot depend on them for everything.

{~*~}

I walk up the board to the ship and feel another weight fall onto my chest. What if I never see Daniel and Father again...? The only thing that keep me walking is the gently support of Emmit's hand on my shoulder. With his other hand, he hold's Bethany's hand. This must be no easier for them than it is for me... I fight back tears and we shuffle onto the ship, being led down to the cargo hold. People are already inside, fearful and tightly packed together. They are deasprate to escape Ferelden, quite the opposite of me really.

The boat sways as we take out seats in the available space, shoulder to shoulder. The smell of sickness and Body Oder fills the air and I remind myself that I have no choice. We feel the rocking of the ship as it finally leaves port, the gentle side-to-side motion comforting if not strange. Emmit nudges me and I fade away from my daze to look at him.

"How are you holding up?" he asks gently.

I turn away again, blonde strands of hair falling over my eyes, "I don't know... I fear knowing of my family's fate as much as I fear not knowing. My intention was not to leave Ferelden like that, it wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind... I guess I just feel a bit lost..."

That isn't all of it really. What if I die in Kirkwall? No one will know me, and if my family is still alive they will not know I am dead. Then there's the fact that if they are dead, they have no idea where I am... I... Do not know what I can do. This is not what I am good at, I can't fight, I am not that kind of person. I travel, I learn, and I collect information. The type of things that involve a blade were never sought out by me. I never looked to far into fighting... I bury my head in my folded arms and resist sobbing. If Daniel were here, he'd tease me and say I am who I am. I know who I am, but that is not any better. I was worthless as we fleed, and now I am even more of a dead-weight.

A hand rests on my shoulder and Emmit says, "You'll be alright Alexandra. And your family will be too."

I look at him is disdain, "How can you be so sure? It's darkspawn, not a few thugs."

"Because I just do," he says with a smile and then says, "Now get some rest, I'll take first watch."

I nod quietly and lean against a pole, my head suddenly feels slow and my body feels heavy. I close my eyes and then I am asleep...


	6. Chapter 6

_Okay, I pinched myself. I fell asleep while working on this chapter, and I have no idea why. I had plenty of sleep... Anyways, here you go! I'll try to post two chapters tomorrow as promised, seeing as according to my family there's nothing planned. As far as I know anyways... Plus, check out the cover. I first posted a different one but... I really didn't like it and it was rushed. This one was rushed too, but I think it turned out pretty good. Also, thanks for the feedback on the other chapter. I was unsure how to make Wesley respond, and how Aveline should respond to his death. Anyways, (again) enjoy and please tell me if you think something was missing. (Besides it being short...)_

_**Disclaimer:** Like I said before, I do not own Dragon Age. If I did, you wouldn't be reading this._

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We enter the docks and I stumble out of the ship behind Carver and Bethany. Leandra gives me a soft look, but I feel like I'm still on the boat. My head spins and I nearly fall if Emmit hadn't caught me. I liked sailing, sure, but it was my first time. I do not even want to think about it though, for now there is more pressing matters to attend to.

"They're not letting people pass the gates," I say after righting myself. A crowd is gathered around three city guards.

"I'm surprised they let us dock," Emmit says. Though I have to agree, despite it being said in such humor, that I too am surprised they let us dock. It seems many people have thought of coming to Kirkwall.

As Emmit steps forward to go talk the guard, I stop him and say, "I'll handle this."

I weave through the crowd and up to the guard, trying to ignore the desprate faces. The guard stops myself, "Get back to the crowd you lout, don't try to bully your way through."

"Why are you stopping entry?" I ask, first pry out information then manipulate.

"Knight-Commander Merideth gave the command, but if it were up to me I'd shut the gates completely." says the guard in a surly tone. I mentally scowl at the man, it that's his attitude all the time he is not a good guard.

"Knight-Commander? That's a templar title. Why would the City Guard answer to the templars?" This surprises me. It's also a draw back for the Hawkes if it's true.

The guard shakes his head firmly, "No, they are just the higher power. Now can you please step back?"

I physically scowl and say, "There has to be someone I can talk to. A captain maybe? Or have you forgotten the trade flow?"

The man sighs, "Always the same story, talk to the Captain inside."

I nod briskly and wave the other over, and they respond rather quickly. Emmit could have done this easily, but I have to help out in some way. Even if it's useless...

As we walk through the hall-like way Emmit says, "I could have done that."

"I know." Is all I reply.

I know that he could have done it, I know he can do a lot of things without my help. I just won't sit around and do nothing anymore. I scowl as I reminisce on my uselessness. Perhaps Wesley wouldn't have died, or... I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I need to be just as I was before all this. It doesn't matter that people saw how weak I was, I can make up for it. I can do something... I shake my head as I stand back from Emmit's conversation with the guard captain. Fighting isn't me. I cannot just change myself because something happened. No one is good at everything, not even the Maker himself I suspect. I mean, the mages of Tevinter trespassed upon his domain despite his warnings? Weren't they his creations? According to the Chantry anyways.

I yelp as I am shoved to the ground and a sword is lifted at me. Was I too wrapped up in my thoughts. I shake my head and crawl quickly out of the way and stumble to my feet. As the man comes at me again, I stick out my leg, making the man trip. Well, maybe living with Daniel taught me a few things. I always use to do that to him.

Emmit brings the butt of the staff down on the man's head and I wince, hearing the skull crack. Remind me never to get on his bad side...

"Why were you just standing there?" spits Carver as he marches up to me.

I scowl and say, "I have things on my mind, far more than you."

Emmit steps between us and says, "Now's not the time."

Carver glares at his older brother with irritation. Why should he be so spiteful? How'd he grow to be so hateful with this friendly family? I cannot help but return his glare, and Emmit gives me a look of warning. I turn my glare to him for a bit before turning and walking away.

I feel Emmit and Carver's eyes on me, but I do not respond. They can come and find me if they want anything else. I won't be hard to spot in these Gallows anyways, I won't even be leaving any time soon. Suddenly, I feel a pang of guilt and bow my head.

I shouldn't have acted that way. It's just stress right? I shake my head and bite my lower lip, pondering on if I should turn around and apologize.

No.

Carver would just gloat, and I do not need any teasing from Emmit if his humor drives that way. I'll just go and talk to Bethany.

I walk over to the woman, not much more than a girl, who is conversing with Leandra. It's hard to imaging her related to the two males in her living family.

"How are you two holding up?" I ask, faking my concern. Well, it's not faked. Not really. I just cannot really ask how others are doing when I could go insane any moment.

Bethany looks at me a gives a smile that does not reach her eyes and Leandra says, "I was going to ask you that dear."

I shake my head and smile weakly, "Hey, I'm traveling right?"

"You sound like Emmit," says Bethany.

Did I? Gosh, I need to keep away from that man before I'm that annoying. "That's a bad thing?"

Bethany shakes her head, "No, I like Emmit. He's a good brother."

"A good man in general, now you look like a ghost dear. Why don't we all find a place to rest? I'm sure the voyage did a beating on all of us." says Leandra, but I can hear her the hollowness. She's just lost her entire life to the darkspawn, and I feel for her. At least she knows her family is safe... That's more than I can say...

I nod and say, "Indeed..."

We walk back toward Emmit and Carver, to my despair. I thought I was just getting a break from them. Then we all choose an empty place in the open area of the Gallows to sit and wait. Apparently there is a Gamlen that will get us into the city, but... I have my doubts...

Does it matter though? My life seems to be going it's own course...

It seems Fate found me, and I stumbled into it...


	7. Chapter 7

_Okay, I tried to reach 5,000 words, but... I reached 3,000 at least. Here's the 7th chapter, and... I can't say much more for this chapter's top A/N..._

_**Disclaimer**: I still do not own Dragon Age, just another reminder. I doubt anyone would know of it if I were in charge of the games... I doubt it'd make it past planning..._

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"Don't look now, but I think that's our man." says Emmit as he stands up straight.

I look up and see an older man walking toward us, matching his description that I asked of the guard. I give a sigh and drag myself to my feet, tired and wary for some odd reason. So far, I do not like Kirkwall. I miss the muck and smell of Ferelden, and only because I know I cannot go back. If I was traveling on my own free will, I doubt I'd be missing it so much.

"Would saying that your my favorite uncle help any?" asks Emmit humorously.

I shake my head, escaping my thoughts for now. "It would make me feel better, but not much else."

"You can get us into the city right?" asks Carver.

Gamlen shakes his head, "I tried to grease some palms, but we're going to need more grease."

"What about the estate?" asks Leandra.

"Gone, to settle a debt." he says.

I'm liking this Gamlen less and less by the second.

"Then we're never getting out of here." says Leandra with despair and sadness.

Gamlen shakes his head again, "I've managed to get two of my 'contacts' to come here. If one of them accepts, we can get in."

"What's the catch?" asks Emmit.

"You have to work off your debt for a year." says Gamlen.

Yep, I do not like this man.

"Servitude? That's your big idea?" asks Carver.

I look at Bethany to see if she has any opinion, but I can tell she doesn't want to get into this. Neither do I...

"I don't know, it'll be done and gone before we know it." says Emmit in his cheerful way. Now he's getting on my nerves...

I turn around and walk away, letting the Hawkes discuss our future. I really do not have a say anymore, never really did. I caught the two names of the contacts, and might as well snoop around. I can see Athenril from where I am, as well as the obvious mercenaries, Meeran. I'd bet neither are all that good, but what choice do we have?

"That was our friendly uncle, Gamlen." says Emmit as he walks up behind me.

"Friendly indeed. I don't trust him." I say dryly.

"Oh, I don't know, he seems like the honorable sort." says Emmit humorously.

I shake my head and ask,"Who are we working with?"

"The smugglers of course. Mercenaries are not friendly people you know."

I know all too well. I met a band of mercenaries once, not very nice on my part. I kicked one in the groin and ran, they never really liked me afterwards... So, no mercenaries in my opinion. I'm glad to see Emmit agrees as well.

I sigh and say, "Let's get this over with..."

...

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. That was a year ago... I cannot believe I'm just now looking back at it, considering where I am now.

Wait... I have to meet with Emmit today. We have to talk to Bartrand.

I roll over and push myself off the bedroll and onto my feet. Yes, I know, not the best place to stay, but it's a place to stay. Leandra insisted I stay with them, but I disagreed and only stayed there until Aveline joined the guards. Now I stay in the barracks in the back rooms, where the Guard Captain grudgingly lets me stay. I pay my way in with information though, so he has no reason to complain. I snort, let him try to find a better source of information. Working with Athenril has opened this door for me, one for information gathering. After our first job under her service, she learned that those types of things were not for me. Instead, she set me to gathering information. Said I had a natural way with people, and could get better if I practiced. I got her some good jobs, so I was allowed to stay in. It's better than fighting, not that I haven't learned a thing or two from the smugglers. I always wear a concealed knife in the hem of my belt, out of eye's view.

Right... Emmit...

I walks over to the door and open it a crack, peeking into the room. Only a few people are up, the ones from night patrol.

I sigh and get to work on cleaning up my stuff, putting it neatly in an empty barrel. Once done, I leave. Aveline has learned by now that I do not say where I am going and when I am going, and always return at the end of the day. I feel my satchel's small weight and smile, soon I will have plenty of things inside it.

Emmit is standing outside the Keep, waiting for me. Does he always have to do that?

"So what's this about a Bartrand? I've heard about him, sure, but never specifically on what he is doing." says Emmit as we begin walking down the steps.

"That's easy, he's planning a Deep Roads venture." I say blandly.

Emmit sighs, "Well, how did that escape my clever ears?"

"Because you Hawkes depend on my information too often. Anyways, you shouldn't be out and about. There's templars after you you know." I say, warning in my voice.

"Who else can tell us the intentions of the templars and more? As for the templars, I know. But those guys need to lighten up a bit." Emmit's humor has lost it's charm, and I've listened to it for a year now. I doubt it can get on my nerves like it did a year ago.

"They're templars Emmit, not priests. If they find out about you and Bethany... You'll be dragged away to the Circle, the Gallows. Knight-Commander Meredith isn't known for her generosity." I say as we turn a corner, our voices in low whispers so people cannot hear us.

Then there's Bartrand standing there talking to a man. I sigh, he's a bastard through and through, but it's the only way to get the templars away from Emmit and Bethany...

"There he is, the dwarf." I point at Bartrand and Emmit nods. At least he knows how to be serious...

We walk up to Bartrand and I say, "Are you Bartrand Tethras?"

The dwarf stops and turns to me with a scowl, "Yeah, and what do you want?"

"We want to join your expedition. We've fought darkspawn, and Ogre and lived. We can get your expedition in and out, and this man here has a great sense of direction." I say, sure I've said it wrong. Bartrand isn't an easy dwarf to compromise with. Plus, I think Emmit's sense of direction is flawed for the most part. He heads for trouble instead of away...

We begin following him as he said, "No, Andraste's tits humans, do you know how many people want to hire on to this expedition?"

I scowl, "Look, you need us. We can be a valuable asset to your group, and we've fought darkspawn."

"No, you're too late. Already done." he says in an irritated tone.

"We've experience with darkspawn, how many of your hirelings can claim that?" I say.

"Look, I don't care if you tore the horns off an Ogre." says Bartrand, still unswayed.

"You're looking for a quick way out of the slums right? You and every Ferelden in this dump. Find another meal ticket." he says that then walks away.

"Well, your people skills seemed to have abandoned you," says Emmit with one of his teases. He just loves to point out the times when I do not get the outcome I want.

I glare at the statue in front of us, "Be quiet Emmit."

"I was just stating the truth," he says.

I sigh and begin walking away, Emmit following. "We need a new way to get Bartrand to accept us. Direct confretation obviously failed. Athenrial is useless in this matter, and I'd trust a corspe before I trust your uncle."

"You catch more flies with honey, but Gamlen's bullshit can work too." he says with a smile.

I sigh and shake my head, and we begin walking, until...

A boy bumps into Emmit without apologizing, and it takes Emmit only a few seconds to notice that his coin purse is missing. He turns around and yells, "HEY!"

We run after the boy and I hear the sound of a crossbow being shot. As we run around the corner a dwarf is pushing the theif away and holding Emmit's coin purse.

The dwarf turns to us and tosses the coin purse at Emmit who catches it. He spins his arrow and says, "How do you do? Varric Tethras at your service."

Then Varric says, "I apologize for Bartrand, he wouldn't know an oppritunity if it hit him square in the jaw."

"And you would?" asks Emmit.

"I would. But what my brother realize is that we need someone like you. He would never admit it either, he's too proud. I however, am quite practical. " he says. Great, just what I need. I've already got Emmit to deal with, I don't need him.

"Varric." I say.

He turns to me, "Ah. I thought you never wanted to see me again."

"I didn't." I say bluntly. I had this one information job a few months back, and the Merchants Guild did not take kindly to my spying. They sent Varric to stop me...

"You know him?" asks Emmit.

"Met him once, and never wanted to again." I say.

"Well, lets leave that in the past shall we?" asks Varric.

"Fine, you say you're a part of Bartrand's venture?" asks Emmit. Right, I need to tell him something about grudges.

"That's right. The Deep Roads wouldn't normally be my thing, but I can't allow the head of my family go down there alone. So if you can imagine, I have more than a passing interest in this expedition."

I lean over to Emmit, "Do what you like, but I'll be with Aveline."

With that I leave and take out a pencil and parchment, scribbling down some jobs Emmit can do. If I'm right, Varric will suggest bribing money. I'll keep my ears open, and hopefully get to chat with Varric alone. The dwarf let me go, so I really don't have a grudge against him. I just hoped never to see him again. Is that easy to understand? Daniel would shake his head and tell me to get over it.

I think anyways...

I stuff my stuff back into my satchel and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I've no word from them, even with the Blight over... I could go back, I could live my dream of traveling all over Thedas. I could. But what holds me back? The Hawkes are like a family to me, and it's easy to make a living here. I can look over them without much trouble, and Aveline still needs someone to talk to about Wesley despite her denial. I have an anchor here in Kirkwall, and it's not so easy to cut.

Funny how much a year can do to me.

Have I found my greater truth that Father spoke of? I have no clue. However, I do know that I cannot leave. Father and Daniel know I can take care of myself, and I know they can take care of themselves. I must find peace in knowing that...

I sigh and continue to Viscounts Keep, Emmit can find me if he needs me. I walk back up the steps and watch the people around me, their eyes diverted away from me. They're use to me being here now. I cannot help but smile a little, how easy it is to accept someone they find insignificant They despise Ferelden refugees, but yet accept me. Find anything amiss with that?

How much I've changed since the flee from the darkspawn... I may still be useless in a fight, but at least I can do something. I've made up for my weakness in their eyes, but how do I feel? That, I have no clue. The biggest mystery in the world is the mortal heart, some can be black as pitch and others made of gold. Yet greed defines humans, elves, and dwarves alike. Greed and emotion. What am I to say I've satisfy myself?

I walk into the Keep and to the Barracks ignoring the guards by the doors. These people are my anchor, and I am what? I'm no ship, no safe-haven from a storm. That's the job of someone like Emmit or Aveline. I shake my head and see Aveline at the duty roster.

"Bartrand was a no-go. Apparently, one Varric Tethras can get us in though." I say to her as I lean against the wall.

"Bartrand always was a son-of-a-bitch." says Aveline, not looking away from the roster.

I shrug, "I tried. Emmit and Bethany need some ground beneath them since last week. I cannot help them forever."

"I doubt you have a choice," says Aveline.

I look at the shield on the mantle of the fireplace, "If Fate leads me to that direction, I still do. I can hop off any time I like, but..."

"The guilt would be too much? Admit it Alexandra, you're attached to them." says Aveline. She and I talk about things like this often, and she does not judge me for believing in Fate instead of the Maker. She also knows when I lie, despite how good at lying I am.

"I do admit it, I never denied it. They're a second family, and the only family I have here. Blood isn't everything." I say with a distant smile.

"As long as you continue to watch them and report things to me, I'm fine. You keep me from camping on their doorstep." She says and Emmit walks in with Carver and Bethany. Apparently he wasn't in the mood to walk around with Varric.

"Aveline," he says.

"Hawke." is Aveline's reply.

I smile and say, "Any idea what Varric wants you to do?"

"He needs me to get 50 gold pieces." He says glumly.

"So you come here seeking Aveline?" I ask.

"That's the idea."

Aveline turns to us, "As I said to Alexandra, watch out for Bartrand."

"Do you have any jobs for us?" Emmit asks.

I sit down as they converse over Aveline having a job for him. I was one of her contacts of course, she learned a lot of whats going on from me. I prefer talking to her over the Guard Captain who is just foul inside and out. I dig around in my satchel and pull out a pencil and parchment again, and begin drawing them.

A teaching from Father enters my head from one of the drawing lessons he was giving me, "Preserve the memory and the lines can tell the story."

I smile and continue drawing until I learn Bethany is looking over my shoulder, "You're really good."

I sigh and put my pencil down to look at her, "Just one of the many things I learnt from my father."

"My father taught me things as well, but not quite like this. He taught Emmit and I to control our magic." She says, and I can just hear the sadness in her voice. I've caught over the year that she doesn't want her magic.

I smile at her, "We've all got something we are good at. It just takes some thought to find out what. Here, take this drawing."

I hand it to her and say, "The best part of life is the memories, no matter how painful."

She gives me one of her smiles that does not reach her eyes and I stand up. Bethany is a good girl, but has a life that is not courtesy to her. I wish I could change that for her, but magic is a part of her.

Emmit walks over, "So, anything interesting happening?"

"Haven't you heard? Well, I've got several things in mind that need some looking into. I'll get back to you on it later." I answer as I begin walking away.

"How about you come over? Mother has been asking about you for a while, seeing as you never visit." He asks.

I sigh and cross my arms, he knows I want to see how Leandra has been holding up with Gamlen. He also knows I'm constantly busy, not to mention my satchel is practically empty.

"Let her go, the place is cramped as it is." says Carver irritated. Yep, still doesn't like me. You'd expect that over a year he would learn to tolerate me.

I turn around and say, "Fine."

I've been wanting to see Leandra again for a while, so I might as well. I do not give myself many breaks, seeing as information is always out there. It's only been a year...

I smile and Emmit walks over to whisper, "We all want to see how you're doing."

I give him a puzzled look, but he walks away and I shrug. He's Emmit, no way of knowing what he means. I follow them after a good-bye to Aveline and just take in all that I can.

That's just what I do, and I never want to forget. I will look back, but I will move forward. Daniel and Father are waiting, but I have things I need to do. Father would only tell me to turn around and go back, to complete what I feel is right... If memories are important, then... I will gather as many as I can...

Memories...

They tell a story like no other...

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_Okay, a bottom A/N. Sorry for the skip, but... There's a skip in the game too. I just couldn't find myself to fit a year's work of servitude to a smuggler into this story without boring you. That's just too long a time, so I'm following the game timeline. So acts._


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay, how many chapters today is this? I've had a lot of free time... Read this and I'll explain things at the bottom._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dragon Age, and blah blah blah _

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I pinch my nose as we walk up the steps to Gamlen's house, I remember staying here. It always, and still, smells of old cabbage. I remember giving Leandra in scents to burn so she could get rid of the smell, I guess it didn't work.

Emmit opens the door and we all enter, and I look at Bandit. The dog is fast asleep. I remember that on the way to the boat, I noticed the dog was following us. Emmit told me he was waiting to be told to do something. I still cannot believe that the whole time we were running from darkspawn, there was a mabari WAR HOUND with us. It was too late then, but it was still pretty irritating to learn that.

Leandra is in conversation with Gamlen.

"My children have been in servitude. Servitude for a year! We should be nobility!" says Leandra to Gamlen.

"If wishes were poppies we'd all be dreaming." says Gamlen harshly.

And Emmit just has to, "Wait, this is real? No wonder I can't wake up."

Gamlen glares at Emmit then back at Leandra, "And here I thought the man you ran off with was a mage not a jester."

"I've heard that the Amells were nobility, but not much else." I say, wary of the responses it might bring.

I know I've changed, and I might not like how, but at least I'm not murdering people in their sleep. A few personal questions is what they demanded back in Lothering, I might as well ask them some.

"The Amells are a noble family, but we've always had magic in our blood. When I eloped with Malcolm I was bringing more magic into our lineage. I think that's what hurt my parents the most." says Leandra, and I instantly feel guilty. I should not have brought it up.

"Well, talking about the will sure touched a nerve." says Emmit to Gamlen. I feel my muscles relax, but I hadn't noticed that I had tensed up. I am thankful Emmit changed the top. I look over and he winks, then continues talking to them. Did he really just wink? I shake my head and look over at Carver and Bethany to see them silently listening to the conversation.

I'm happy to not have a noble family, but I still want to see my family. Rumors that came with the knowledge of the ending of the Blight also stated that Highever was attacked. I know it's seems a bit late now to think on it, so the news came two weeks ago, but... Seeing the Hawkes... My family is somewhere in Ferelden, wondering if I am alive or not. Loyal as I am to the Hawkes, I cannot keep the pains of wanting to stay away. I love my family, yet I have no idea what has happened to them.

I jump a bit when Emmit nudges me, I zoned out again like usual. Maybe some things haven't changed...

"Care to volunteer to scrub the floors?" asks Emmit.

I smile and shake my head, "I doubt that scrub brush has ever been used. Anyways, I think Leandra has something in mind. Look at her talking to Bethany."

He looks over and I watch Leandra hand Bethany something, followed by words unheard. Sometimes I wonder how things would have been different if I hadn't gone to Lothering when I did.

I smile absently, I don't want this any different. I know these people, I've endured the flee from Ferelden with them, and now Kirkwall. No matter how much loss I feel, I've gained even more joy.

I look at where Carver is and see him talking to Bandit, his face showing affection for the dog. He bares similarities to Emmit, but has a look that holds grudges that Emmit lacks. Sometimes it's hard to see them as siblings when you look at that factor. It's the same thing with Bethany. Bethany looks like her mother while I suspect Carver and Emmit look more like their father. She is also kind and just seems different from Emmit. They are their own people, yet I see a family. I see friends that I will dare not abandon.

"Things will get better, I think." says Emmit who notices another one of my dazes.

I blink and nod, "I hope so..."

Bethany walks over and says, "I don't usually talk bad about family, but Gamlen is terrible. Apparently our ancestral home is a base for slavers."

I see Emmit go ridged and a scowl covers his face, "Slavers?"

"Mother gave me her old key to the cellar entrance in Darktown, I bet we can do some good with it." She shows the copper gleaming key, and I eye it with distaste.

Slavers, they deserve a fate worse than death for the enslavement of people. No one should be forced into such a situation.

"Perhaps we should clean the place up? Rats are a nasty sort." says Emmit, using a dark humor. Apparently he doesn't like Slavery either.

"Carver says he doesn't want a part in this, but..." Bethany shakes her head. I've noticed how Carver hates how Emmit does better, but I see no point as to why he should sulk and put it on other people.

Emmit nods and states that he and Bethany are going to pick up Varric and Aveline. I watch them leave as I set in the rickity chair by the table. I could take this time to get some work into the day, but I came here to see Leandra. I just do not know how to talk to the woman. She seems so sad all the time, and I have no idea why. I've never been good at comforting people, and so I'm at a disadvantage I pull my knees to my chest, my heels braced against the edge of the seat. Then I place my head on my knees, this position I remember from the voyage here. I sat like this for the entire sail, trying to bar everything off while keep myself together. Now I am just like this to do the same thing.

I feel eyes on me and look up to see Carver glaring at me. Right... He's still here. I put my head back down and take a deep breath, my chest being restricted by my knees. I exhale and turn my head a bit to look at the fire in the fireplace. The soft snoring of Bandit merging with the crackling of the fire. I could also take this time to think. I haven't had time to think since before Lothering.

"Why do you continue talking to us?" asks the irritated voice of Carver.

I look up to see him standing in front of me. His grim face surrounds curious eyes. He's not a bad kid, I know that, but he doesn't express things the way they are needed. He's filled with anger that he doesn't know how to express, he wants a purpose. Something out of Emmit's shadow. It's amazing what I can learn from just watching.

"Does it matter?" I ask, shifting to sit normally in the chair.

"It does. You're here, so why not cut all ties with us? Why didn't you?" he asks, he wants answers.

I look back at the fire and say honestly, "I don't know."

I can think up feelings and reasons for why like earlier, but to pinpoint the exact reason is impossible for me. Maybe it's just how Father taught me, and I just have it burned into my brain.

"If you don't know, then why do you work so hard to keep us in sight? Emmit might not see it, but I see how you watch us. I doubt it's just for Aveline." says Carver, his voice holding anger.

I stand up and say, "Reasons are foolish. One becomes wise by seeing, and I've become the wises person in the world by seeing a cause. My cause may not be clear, but I've seen it. Take that as a reason Carver, but do not judge something you cannot understand."

He looks taken back and I walk out, Bandit's head pops up as I pass and he automatically follows me. I close the door behind the dog and sit on the short stone railing. I've never been fond of Lowtown, it's very different from Hightown.

I nearly lose my balance as Bandit nudges me with his head. I pat the mabari's head and say, "I really don't know you know. I've created so many reasons, yet none exactly fit. I'm happy around the Hawkes, but that's not the only thing. There's just no word to describe my reasons."

Bandit barks as if he understands me, and maybe he does. According to lore, they are clever enough to speak, and wise enough to know not to.

I sigh and lay down on the ledge, Bandit sniffing at my face. Kirkwall is different from Ferelden, it has less muck and brown. It lacks the smell of wet dog, and that smell is replaced by the garbage. It also lacks the fresh air and freedom that I loved so much. Now I'm restrained to these walls, the places outside being the rest of the Free Marches, Nevaria, the Anderfels, Antiva, Rivain, and the Tevinter Imperium. Then there's the sea. So many places I want to see, and yet I am here. Fate has a crude sense of humor.

I sit there for who knows how long, the sun gone from the sky now. The air becomes chillier and I shiver a bit, Bandit had begun to sleep again a while ago. I've plenty of time to think, yet nothing to think about now. Memories? Of what, my fights with Daniel or my lessons with Father? My encounter of a Cousland back in Highever? Anything I want, and I think of nothing.

"How long have you been there?" asks Emmit, his voice lined with amusment. I can hear Bethany's attempt to muffle her giggles.

"I don't know." I sat and look down to see them staring up at me from the base of the stairs.

"Well come inside, I doubt your muscles will have agreed to just laying there." says Emmit as he and Bethany climb the stairs.

I sit up, and he was right. My muscles ache and I stretch to get them working again. Bandit bounds around me, nearly knocking me over in the process. I walk over to them and we all enter the building, everyone is asleep. I quietly sigh and turn around only to be stopped by Emmit.

"I'm sure bandits will let you just stroll on by, but you're staying here tonight." he says.

I shake my head, "No, I really should get back to the keep."

Bethany looks back and forth then says, "I'll take Bandit with me and I'll take her to the Keep Emmit, Alexandra knows her way around as much as we do."

Emmit sighs, realizing he is out voted and nods. "Be safe, and try to stay in the light as much as possible."

We walk out the door and Bethany says to me, "It would have been more sensible to stay here tonight Alexandra."

I shrug, "I can't. Plus, I've wasted my entire day just sitting on that railing. I have no excuse to explain to Aveline as to why I didn't come back."

"I'm sure she would have understood," says Bethany.

I look at Bethany for a minute then back at the path in front of us, "How have you been holding up here in Kirkwall?"

Bethany sighs, "We should all be asking you that Alexandra, yet you insist on our welfare. How many times during our time with Athenril did Emmit ask if you were alright when you'd sit alone?"

"He was over exaggerating." I state.

"We were concerned." Bethany says in response.

I take a deep breath and say, "Concern is not needed. I may have been useless against the darkspawn, but now it's my turn to help you guys..."

"Emmit would disagree," says Bethany.

"Emmit also is a mage on the run taking care of his family, I doubt he has room to talk." I say a bit too harshly, and I wince after I did. i didn't mean to say that.

Bethany winces and I bow my head, "I'm sorry..."

She gives me a thoughtful look and say, "You've changed you know, since Lothering."

I nod and do not look at her, guilt beating down on me. I'm tired, that's all... I should get some sleep and I will get rid of these words that spew from my mouth. Right? I feel tears reach my eyes. I was just thinking about why I was still around, and now I'm being cruel to one of the very reasons.

"I honestly don't know what Emmit would say, but I'm sure he could cheer you up." says Bethany as we walk up the many stairs into Hightown.

I remain silent, the walk seeming longer than it is. I was thinking about I'm looking back but then walking forward, but here I am getting worse.

"Bethany?" I ask.

Bethany directs her attention to me, "Yes?"

"I'm not doing fine at all."

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_You confused? Well, Leandra doesn't have a dead child so I am basically making up some dialogue with her, and Alexandra isn't a Hawke so the responses are not toward a family member. I also wanted her to interact with the siblings just to get them out in the open. As for how she feels... I was utterly confused. She does know why, but then again she doesn't... Her family is still in Ferelden and she doesn't even know if they're alive, she has the natural instinct to travel yet she's surrounded by walls, and she cannot seem to find herself again. I tried to fit a lot of those factors in, and I end feeling like I made Bethany act differently than she normally would. Ughjslajflakjlkd -_-' I think I've been typing too much today. _


	9. Chapter 9

I wake up in my usual place, staring up at the ceiling. Small noises that I've become use to come from outside the room. My mind races from yesterday and how I broke down. If that happened, what I said to Bethany was true. I'm not doing fine at all.

I could send a message to the Chantry in Highever, sure. I've thought of that for the entire year I've been here in Kirkwall. I've thought of it every day, but...

I do not what to know the answer as much as I do know the answer. I fear they are dead, and that they think I am dead. It'd be the right thing to send a message anyways, but unlike everyone else, I did not escape with everyone I have. They do not need to fear the truth of them being dead, or that they are alive and the only thing that connects us is messages that have to be transported over sea. Then there's the Hawkes. Bethany for sure has told Emmit, and Emmit will have for sure let the others know by accident. Nothing ever stays quiet, even if I have no part in spreading something. They're just going to worry, and I curse myself for my openness. Openness gets people killed, I've seen that too often as a information broker.

I finally give in and get up from the comfy protection of the blanket. I shiver, and lock the door. They do not know I inserted a lock, but a girl needs privicy. I remove my shirt and replace it with a cleaner one, doing the same with my trousers. Leandra had insisted I wear dresses, but I hate dresses. To little mobility, and that can kill people when traveling. I tie my leather boots and tuck the ends of my trousers in, then putting on a thin coat I picked up a few weeks in from Kirkwall. Athenril suggested the coat, and said I could stitch in several pockets. She didn't know how terrible at sewing I was. I got Leandra to fix my horrible work once I was done, and now I happily stash more sensitive information in the hidden pockets. The coat also hides the leather braces I wear on my wrist, for if I block any attacks. I may avoid fights, but they are unavoidable at times. I buckle my belt silently, the concealed knife giving me only a little comfort when alone at night gathering information. Emmit had nagged me the first time I did that, lecturing me on the ill-intent of men in "such places as this", as his words went. I sort of walked away after a minute of listening to it, and he knows I can take care of myself.

I roll my stuff up again like usual and put them in the barrel, grab my satchel, unlock the door, and leave. I walk past the people like usual and see Emmit standing outside the Guard Captain's door. Yelling can be heard from out here. What did he do?

I walk over, "What are you doing here so early?"

"I played guard for Aveline. Apparently there was a gang of thugs just up Sundermount, waiting for an unlucky wagon of goods." He says with an ill smile. Also apparently it didn't turn out well for Aveline.

I frown, "Why is the Guard Captain mad then?"

I know he has some shady business, but even Aveline knows that. She doesn't press me for information, knowing how much I depend in the confidential information between us. But, everyone can see what an oily man he is.

The door slams open, making me jump, and Aveline stomps out. She slams the door shut and says, "Threaten my friends... He's going to pay for that."

"Am I still allowed to stay?" I ask.

"Does this mean I'm not getting payed?" Emmit asks with a smirk.

"You're fine Alexandra, and you'd end up headless Hawke." says Aveline, her voice edged with anger.

Emmit and I follow her and someone, Guardsmen Brennan, walks up and says, "Thank's for clearing that job for me Aveline, I'd of been dead. I never even knew you went if it weren't for the rumors of how you cleared out the bandits."

"This way routine..." I mutter, realizing what they had done.

"Yes, and I was suppose to take the Satchel tonight, but the roster changed and it was passed to Donnic. It was unusually heavy this time though." she says.

Heavy? I look at Aveline and Emmit and see they realize it too.

"Thank's again Aveline," says Brennan as she leaves.

Aveline turns to the duty roster and searches, "Good man Donnic... Donnic... Donnic.. Ah ha, here we go. A quiet patrol in Lowtown, lets go and make sure it stays quiet."

I check the time, "He's already left, but it says Lowtown, so we'll have to catch him tonight."

"We?" asks Emmit, surprised I inserted myself.

I raise an eyebrow, "Information that shows a corrupt Guard Captain? I'd never miss the chance."

Emmit grins and I begin walking away, "Meet me in Lowtown when the sun sets."

Emmit speed walks after me, "Where are you going?"

"To work, I missed an entire day yesterday. I'm bound to have missed something important." I say, not even looking at him as he walks next to me.

Emmit frowns, "Have you even tried to message your family? Bethany told me about last night, what you said. I'm sure it'd take some stress off."

"Are you actually being serious? That's very un-Emmit-like of you Emmit." I say with dry humor.

"I am being serious Alexandra, you've changed since Lothering. Sometimes people can change for the worst, and I do not want that to happen to you." He says, pain obvious on his face.

I walk backwards and give a angry humorous face, "You don't like how I've changed?"

"Don't brush this off Alexandra," he says sternly.

I turn around and open the doors, "Sound familiar?"

"This is not the same," he says defensively.

I scowl, "What, because now it's protecting the weak young woman? I don't need protection."

Emmit steps in front of me and I halt, glaring at him. "What's gotten into you Alexandra? You're going in every direction! Yesterday you were happy, and even opened up to Bethany. Now you're pushing me away. Do you have something against me?"

I look away and say, "No, Emmit, I don't have anything against you... I'm just confused."

"About what, Alexandra? If it's your family, you can message them. There's nothing hard about it. If it's something about Kirkwall, than there's people who will help you out." Says Emmit.

I shake my head and say, "That's one of the problems. I want to help, not be helped. I was useless before, and now I have a chance to do something."

Emmit crosses his arms and says, "That doesn't mean you cannot accept help. I bet your father said something on this subject..."

I smile slightly, "Sure he did, 'The best people have those they trust and those they consider comrades.' Weird how he said it, but the point is still there."

"See, there you go. You need to smile more often." He says with a grin.

"I need to get to work, and so do you. Varric said he wanted to talk to you at the Hangedman." I say as I begin walking again.

Emmit shrugs and follows, "Well, I need to pick up Carver and Bethany, so how about you come with me to Lowtown? There's bound to be information there, right? Hightown isn't the only place to get a job."

I sigh and say, "Fine..."

The topic isn't over between us, I can tell. Nothing is ever as simple as that, and I'm going to hear about it later. We climb down the long steps and past several people. My ears are open to information, but only the gossip of pointless subjects are spoken. I frown, I can do little. Emmit has done a better job with getting himself jobs lately, and I've been side tracked.

"So how was talking to the Grey Warden? He everything people expected?" I ask Emmit, trying to converse.

Emmit raises and eyebrow, "Well, he's a mage. Didn't make the right choices, nearly got me killed, turns out he sides with mage freedom, and he's got a spirit inside of him. Now we just need a warrior with an attitude problem and we... Oh wait, we're set to be called misfits now. I think Anders will fit right in."

"That bad?" I ask.

"He tried to flirt with me when I checked up on him afterwards." He says with a smirk.

I put a hand over my mouth to hide a laugh and say, "You've got men and women fawning over you now."

Emmit gives me a faked pained look, "It's not funny, that was really awkward to turn down."

I smile, "Please tell me you left his ego intact."

He frowns now, "Okay, lets change the subject. I don't like making fun of people behind their backs."

I nod and we continue climbing down steps in silence. I look at Emmit and study the appearance of slight stubble showing he needed to shave, and his hair needs to be brushed. His face holds a smile, but is tired from a lack of sleep. He doesn't seem to be getting any breaks. He wears robes, but how he isn't noticed as a mage is beyond me. The staff wrapped up on his back should be obvious enough. Someone could easily describe him as handsome.

I stop and say, "I'll meet you at the Hangedman... I'm going to take care of something."

Emmit gives me a worried look, but doesn't argue, "Okay... "

I walk away and take an envelope out of my satchel, looking at my neat handwriting written on it:

_This letter is addressed to Allen McCallistair, and Daniel McCallistair_

_From their loving daughter and sister, Alexandra McCallistair_

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_Tada! The 9th chapter. I know, I know, I completely skipped Anders and I make fun of him, but... Yeah, well... That is my apology... As for the story itself, More Emmit! Plus, Alexandra finally gathers herself and sends a letter to her family, so I hope I can return Alexandra to herself. I tried doing an outline like suggested by **Musicalrain**, seeing as I didn't get the chance to post yesterday... Stay tuned for the next chapter.  
_


	10. Chapter 10

*Drum roll* Here is chapter 10. I swear I meant to finish it yesterday, I just got... Distracted... Anyways, I've run out of times so I had to cut it short...

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I walks into the Hangedman and see Emmit talking to a women without any... Pants on... I frown and walk over.

"A duel? Why a duel?" he asks.

"Because I like duels. If I win, he'll be dead. Problem solved." says the women.

I stand behind Emmit and cross my arms, and she turns her attention to me. "Oh, and I seems we have company."

Emmit turns and sees me, "Alexandra! There you are. Where did you go? You missed the bar fight."

I sigh and shake my head, "I went to send a letter, and I doubt that was much to miss. Who's she?"

I didn't mean for the edge in my voice, I don't even know why it's there.

"Isabela, previously Captain Isabela, but that title rings a bit hollow." she says with a bow, a grin on her face.

"Uh-huh, what job were you offering him?" I ask. A ship Captain, sure, but what else? A fired ship Captain, it seems.

"She was offering to let me back her up in her duel. Who'd you send the letter to? Please tell me you're family." says Emmit happily.

"Yes, and not in front of strangers." I say blandly.

"I'm no stranger. And I never did get a confirmation on that." says Isabela. I look her up and down and say, "Fine."

"Good, meet me at Hightown tonight," she says.

As she walks away my eyes widen, "Emmit..."

"You should have let me deal with that, now what do you intend to do Ms. Planner?" I scowl at him as he says that. What do I do? Emmit has to help Aveline tonight, and now we've got some Isabela to help. It'd be easy to just help out our friend, but...

"How about you go help Aveline, I'm sure a one-on-one duel will not affect me." I say cautiously. No harm right? I still have a bad feeling though.

Emmit frowns, "I am sure Isabela said something else..."

"Emmit," I warn.

He smiles and shrugs, "Carver and Bethany are up talking to Varric, I'll see you later."

I nod and call over Croff, the bartender, "What's the news?"

Croff begins cleaning a cup, "The craziest thing. Apparently the pigeon population has taken a nose dive in Ferelden. Weird, huh? What kind of sick individual preys on those innocent thing?"

"Pigeons? That's all?" I ask. News on King Alistair would be a whole lot better. How hard is it to get good information.

"How about I get you a drink?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I don't drink. Thank's anyways Croff."

I push away from the counter and walk away, passing the pitiful drunks and waitress. I push open the door and check the sky to see how long until night. Isabela better be good with a dagger, or I'm in trouble. I roll my shoulders and listen, remembering the amulet we were to deliver once we got here. It's been only a few days since we left servitude, so I'll remind Emmit later. Or I could simple break into his storage chest and take in to the Dalish Elves myself. I'd rather leave it to Emmit. I skip around a drunk woman around the corner and scowl at how pitiful these people are. I miss Ferelden, and how everything is backwater so everything is equal. Even the alienages seemed pretty similar to a small town. Except, well, you know... The confinement and stuff. The alienage here in Kirkwall seems like the rest of Lowtown, but at least they have a tree. I once went in there and an elf was glaring at me until I left. Lets just say it's not my favorite of places. I walk around for a bit, the way to the docks in my vision. I smile and head that way. As much as I hated that sail here, I want to know more about ships. If I plan to travel, I want to know how I travel.

Though, Emmit's dog seems to have a different idea.

I feel something crash into me and I tumble to the ground, hitting my head. I yelp and and a slobbery tongue rubs all over my face. I cannot help but laugh. Then I push the dog aside and and sit up, a smile across my face.

"Why are you not with Emmit? He's the one you imprinted Bandit." I say, patting the dog's head.

Bandit barks in reply and I push myself to my feet, glancing at the way to the docks...

"Maybe I'll go later... I'm sure there's some odd-ball jobs around Lowtown..." I mumble and begin walking away, Bandit happily following. Why is the mabari following me? Maybe... Nah.

I whistle softly and remember the only dog I ever had...

_I walk through the rough streets of Highever and look for a place to hide, Daniel won't find me. He never does. He is the worst seeker I've ever known, even the stupider town boys can find me on occasion. _

_I smile and hide in between two barrels, I have no clue where I am. All I know is that I am still in Highever, and that I'm the best hider in town. And I'm a girl. I giggle and bring my knees to my chest, for once happy for my small size. Tomorrow is my birthday, and Father told me to go play while he went out. Daniel teased me, so I challenged him to hide-'n-go-seek. Another fit of giggles come from my mouth and I curl up more._

_Then I see a white spot in the alley, and I wonder if Daniel has found me. Then..._

_It's a dog. _

_"Puppy!" I scream and it freezes, I put my hand over my mouth and it decides to inch forward. I giggle and crawl over, reaching out with my hand. It's a medium size and has a pure white pelt. It barks and I its head. For some reason it doesn't run away. I continue to pet it until a shadow falls on us._

_"I see you've made a friend little one," says the familiar voice of Daddy. I smile widely and turn around, seeing the familiar tall height combined with pale skin, brown hair, and hazel eyes. A smile is on his face so I know I'm in no trouble._

_I nod and turn back to the puppy, stroking its soft fur, "Can I keep it Daddy?"_

_He chuckles and crouches next to me, patting the dog's head._

_I look at him with big blue eyes, "Please?"_

_He looks at me with that big smile, "It'll need a name, little one, or what will we call it?"_

_I study the dog and say, "Captain!"_

_"Captain?" he inquires._

_"Because Daniel is always talking about someone named Captain like it's a good thing, so I say Captain!" My reason is pretty clear to me, but Daddy's look along with his smile shows that he finds it silly._

_"Captain it is, come on, we need to get him home so he can get use to the house."..._

_..._

Of course, we learned Captain had an owner only a few weeks later. I was so devistated, and Father had tried so hard to make me happy again. Though, I was about 7 so I was easily cheered up after a day or two. Kids, right?

I look at Bandit and think of Emmit and how the dog should be helping him out with the small jobs I found him. I frown, Emmit... He didn't seem worried when I left again, not like when I left to send the letter. So I must be doing better on not worrying them, but... Eh, I should just get to work.

Bandit nudges me and I swat at him, "Oh, shush. You're a smart dog, but you're a dog. You sit around panting, annoying Gamlen, and helping out when called. That's not the same as actually communicating with people."

Bandit whines and I shush him again. Sometimes I think the dog has comments, but gah! That dog is making me think he's smart. I bet the dog still thinks dog things, and just thinks of them with a bit more clarity.

We walk toward the Alienage, of all things, and I study the poor people. Once in the clearing I stand and admire the Vhenadahl tree. It's amazing how they manage to have in in all this stone... Wait, how did they plant it? Miracles, miracles An elf gives me a suspicious look and I get reeaaalllyyy annoyed at how they do that every time I'm in one.

So... I do something childish.

I stick my tongue out at the elf.

He gives me a puzzled look and I look back at the tree, trying so hard not to laugh. Geez, Emmit is rubbing off. I must be an odd sight to them now, being a grown woman and sticking my tongue out like a little kid. After a few minutes of looking, I sit down and pull out a pencil and parchment. I know, I know, I was suppose to gather information. I've been doing bad so far when people just let me laze about. At least Athenril kept me on the ball with all those needs for jobs, sheesh, Emmit handles everything now. I fake wiping a tear away, he's all grown up. I smile and draw Bandit in, who happens to look like he's posing in my vision.

Once done I write down the rumors I heard while sitting there on a sepreat sheet of paper and decide to stop by Gamlen's house to visit Leandra.

I walk the short distance and climb the stairs, glancing up at the sky. I have a few hours until nightfall. I fix a smile on my face and knock on the door, my afflictions seemingly vanished. I should have a clear head, no need to worry-

"Alexandra, why do you even bother to knock?" asks Emmit.

"Emmit? I thought you were doing some odd-ball jobs." I state with puzzlement.

He smirks, "What, were you expecting me to be gone so you can take all my stuff and run? No, I finished all of those. I was going to get ready to head up Sundermount. To deliver this stupid Amulet. It's creeping me out a bit, I feel like it's watching me."

"It's an amulet Emmit, I don't think it has eyes to watch someone." I say as he lets me pass.

He frowns a bit and I notice stuff scattered all over the place, "Emmit... How do you even keep track of this stuff? Seriously, it's a mess."

I pick up a few tiny things and place them neatly on the counter and he says, "I was sorting through my storage chest if you're really bugged by this. I was looking for where I put the Amulet."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "You think it's watching you, and you don't even know where it is?"

He coughs and starts picking stuff up, "No, I hid it at the bottom..."

I smile and ask, "Where's everyone else?"

"Gamlen is off probably doing his usual, and Carver is with Varric. Bethany went with Mother to go shopping... And I'm here planning the trip." He says and packs the last robe into the chest.

I sit down in one of the chairs and say, "You cannot go today, Aveline has that job for you to intercept."

Emmit gives a pained look, "Aw, come on, so I went through this chest of junk for nothing?"

Then the door opens and Bethany and Leandra come in with food ingredients. "Oh, hello Alexandra, when did you get here?" asks Bethany, surprised to see me.

I stand up and smile, "I just got here. I was surprised that Emmit was here, I actually came to talk to Leandra."

Leandra sets the stuff down on the table, "About what dear?"

I shrug, "Anything. Everything. Or to return Band-" I look around, "Where's Bandit?"

Bethany blinks, "Waiting outside by the door. He was reluctant to move. I wonder why..." She looks at Emmit and I blink.

So my incomplete thought was correct...

No need to bring it up.

I stretch and say, "I think I'd better head out."

"But you just got here!" argues Bethany.

I frown, "Ah, yes... Well, I promised someone I'd help. Can't be late, can I?"

Before they argue further I leave, Bandit following me. I feel like a complete idiot. I really did just get there, and I could have stayed and talked. A frown shows greatly on my face, why did I leave? Well, I can assume I naturally wanted to help Emmit's ego, but... I sigh and look at the Mabari.

"Shoo, yes, shoo. I don't need some watch-dog. Emmit will get into more trouble then I will. Go protect your master." The dog continues following.

Great.

I sigh again, how many times is that? The constant steps are forgotten as I think of what I will do with myself. My information network is crumbling with my lack of information gathering, and I am useless in a fight... I kick a rock that appears in my path.

"Add one and one and you get two right? For me it equals a thousand and one... You're smart, do you understand that? No answer, of course. And I'm the weird person talking to a dog..." Yes, I grumble to myself a lot.

I am going to have a full night tonight, I just know it...

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Isabela people, yep. And you can kind of guess why I made Emmit make Bandit follow Alexandra, seeing as her quest isn't a simple watch the duel and walk away. As I said, this was cut short, so you can defiantly receive Isabela's quest and Alexandra's involvement in it in the next chapter. Plus, I tried to fix Alexandra's personality to fit the old one, and well... The story went off on its own. I swear though, it was killing me knowing this incomplete chapter was sitting at my home while I listened to teachers drone on and on about things they've already said. I payed for my distracted attention, and I did attempt at an outline... Hint on the "attempt"...


	11. Chapter 11

_Okay, I know, no chapter updates all weekend? I was devastated too. I had written this chapter all day at school, edited it, re-read it, etc. Then I tell myself I'm going to do this, and that, and this. Then I get to my mother's house and... No internet... I've ended up all weekend thinking way too far ahead into the story because of that... I also made a lot of changes from the rough draft. Also, it turned out I brought my flash drive so it's saved me from writing three chapters tonight. :)_

_**Disclaimer:** I of course, do not own Dragon Age..._

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I stroll up steps after steps to Hightown until I'm there and something crosses my mind…

"She never told me where in Hightown we are to meet…" I mumble and look at the mabari Bandit. Blonde strands fall over my eyes and I tuck them behind my ear, thinking over my situation. It'll take me forever to find her in Hightown, and that is not a part of the plan…

I give one of my famous sighs of frustration and see a poster hanging up, so I go over and study it. Someone's wife has gone missing; Emmit can take care of that right? I shrug and pull the poster down, neatly placing it in my satchel. It's available either way. After that I indulge myself with looking at the stands, my rag-tag clothes probably make me suspicious of stealing… With that thought, I leave and wander. The sun will be hidden behind the towering mansions eventually, so I might as well explore more than I have already. I can find Isabela when night falls, considering that was what time she told me…

I actually like Hightown, even though it's basically Lowtown with a bit more shine and doors to hide behind. It's still irritating to be here. Maybe I can go with Emmit when he delivers the amulet, that way I can get outside these blasted walls. Lowtown might remind me of Ferelden, but Ferelden is across sea and out of my reach for now. I'll need a way to get coin, so I don't have to live off Aveline while she's a guard. Maybe I can purchase a house in Lowtown, one that I myself will keep clean.

"Alexandra McCallister?" asks a voice behind me I turn around and see Athenril.

"Athenril," I say blandly.

Athenril crosses her arms, "You still gathering information? Do you mind passing some job offers to Emmit? I hear he's in need of coin."

I frown, I didn't even mean to come by the brothel, and I just wanted to see the trading outside it. Athenril and I do not have any issues, but I don't want to keep much contact.

"Good ears, sure I'll do that. Just give me the messages." I say, not turning away offers for Emmit. That is his choice.

Athenril hands me two envelopes, "Here you go, do stay in contact Alexandra. Your information was as invaluable as Hawke and his companions."

I frown, "I'll think on it Athenril, but I cannot guarantee…"

This does not bring upon the best expression, but she knows not to argue. You cannot win someone over by arguing with them. "Fine, but the offer will always be open."

I nod and leave, hurrying away from the Blooming Rose and Athenril. As a mixture, I never liked either in the first place, and together it's worse. I can check that existence off the list…

Eventually I give up wandering, and sit down on the steps to Viscount's Keep. I pull out the messages to Emmit and look over what jobs they are. One is for meeting a dwarf with a possible job offer, and another is a job offer available from Athenril herself. She just does not like letting people go does she? I can tell for sure Emmit won't accept her job offer, but as said before I won't decide for him. I put the messages back in my satchel and look at the sky. The sun is now hidden by the buildings, and the people of Hightown have drifted to the safety of their homes. Thugs will begin coming out, and Isabela will go to whatever meeting place she chose and didn't tell me of. Wonders, oh wonders…

I put my head on my knees and close my eyes, only to hear footsteps and look up.

"You're here early; did I even mention where to meet?" Asks a Isabela who still wears no pants. Charming.

Bandit, who respectively has been standing back even in my conversation with Athenril, presses his wet nose to my face. I stand up and wipe the moisture away with my sleeve, I do not need affection from a watch-dog. I didn't even need a watch-dog.

Isabela smirks and says, "I really thought that Hawke would come, not some weaponless girl and her dog."

I glare at her and say sourly, "Well, he's not."

Again with the unintentional bitterness, perhaps Emmit didn't rub off on me. Perhaps it was Kirkwall that did…

"I never did catch your name," states Isabela, who leans against a wall.

"I never did catch why you need outside help in a duel in the first place," I say, deflecting the statement.

Isabela smiles at this, "Because I do not expect the man I am to fight with to fight fair, you're here to make sure nothing interferes."

I am walking down the steps when she says that, and I end up tripping and my face hits the cold stone at the bottom. I don't even feel the pain as the questions run through my head. What?! I thought I was going to be some judge, even though dead is dead and there is no judging any different, but still!

I push myself to my feet, "How does the man fight? Do you mean he will have people?"

Isabela obviously tried to hold back a laugh at my scene. Glad to know she was amused, I think bitterly.

"He's weak, and he knows it. He'll likely bring any fools that will follow him and outnumber us. You're here to make sure that's not how it is. I take it you can fight?"

I frown, no I cannot. I learned very well during the flee from Lothering that I cannot. I can fight thugs; in self-defense and only if they're weak. The only weapon I even have is the tiny throwing knife concealed in my belt… Emmit is a complete idiot; he let me come without telling me what was to happen. No wonder he has the dog following me everywhere. Yet, I am the one who accepted. I hear you brain, and you're right, but that does not help now does it?

I sigh and stick out a hand to shake, might as well get this over with, "My name is Alexandra McCallistair."

"An introduction? Well, stick around Alexandra and you might learn a thing or two." Says Isabela as she shakes my hand. The way she said it implies a perverted meaning underlying it, but I was never one to catch such things.

"How long are we to wait?" I ask.

"Until he gets here." states Isabela.

And that wait has been hours... The moon now hangs over-head.

"I don't like this... It's been hours, and he still isn't here." Says Isabela, worry edging into her voice.

I frown, "'I don't like this'? That is right up with 'What could possibly go wrong?'. Neither is a good sign."

There's no time for her to respond, as three people run into the clearing with weapons drawn. Things happen too fast for my mind to process, one of them goes at Isabela while the other attacks me. I yelp and Bandit tackles the person, the force so powerful I can hear bones crack. The mabari bites the exposed neck and the screams of pain are cut short and reduced to a gurgling as blood dribbles from the mouth and pour out from the neck. Bandit jumps off and I turn away, it is not like darkspawn and it is not like watching Wesley died, but I still don't want to see such things. I might not have a choice though…

I look over to Isabela and see her looting the corpse and looking for something. "What are you doing?"

She briefly glances at me before continuing, "I'm taking their stuff, and looking for orders. Search that other body."

I frown deeply, but do not argue as I crouch over the dead body. Blood covers the entire front of the poor women's body and face, and I try not to look at the neck as I dig through the pouches. I reluctantly take the coin purse for my personal needs and a creased note. I bite my lip a bit, it's smudged and written with a sloppy hand but it's clear enough. I take the woman's dagger and walk over to Isabela and hand the note to her.

"He's in the Chantry."

"Hiding in the chantry and sending thugs to finish me off? Coward." She says, irritated.

I frown; this is more than I signed up for. If this is an ambush, Bandit can only deal with so many people…

Isabela gives me a questioning look as if to ask if I'm going to go along with it, and I cave in. I'm not one to back out on my word, not even for a stranger. I'm just that nice right?

"Alright, let's get to the Chantry."

Bandit whines as Isabela walks away and I look at the mabari, "What? You're loyal to Emmit, I'm loyal to my word."

He barks and I shake my head, following Isabela. Dogs, they don't understand.

Of course, we were attacked not very far to the Chantry. Bandit took down any ill-willed being that enters my personal bubble. Isabela is excellent with those daggers she has, and cuts through the people like butter. I managed to get a good kick in, making the person fall back for Bandit to kill. I have a weapon, sure, it's called a mabari war hound . Their on sale, go check them out because it's a limited-time offer and nothing matches their bulk and teeth combined.

I climb the Chantry steps not far behind Isabela, trying not to look at the blood-covered war hound beside me. I have to admit, Emmit would find things quite easy if he let the dog follow him more often. Or maybe that's my uselessness talking.

A group of people greet us when we enter, and they're not priests. The man standing at the front with his sneer and oiled hair I think is Hayder.

"Isabela, should have known you'd find me here," says Hayder, his voice making me cringe.

"Tell your men to burn the letters next time," says Isabela with irritation.

"Castillon was heartbroken when he heard about the shipwreck. You should have let him know you survived." says Hayder with fake hurt.

"It must have slipped my mind," says Isabela, not seeming to care.

Hayder chuckles then asks threateningly, "Where the relic?"

Isabela shrugs, "I lost it. Castillon with just have to do without."

"Lost it?" asks Hayder with accusation in his voice, "Just like you 'lost' a ship full of valuable cargo?"

Isabela scowls at this, "They weren't cargo, Hayder, they were people!"

Hayder sneers and paces, "Those slaves were worth a hundred sovereigns a head, and you let them scurry off into the wilds."

"And now the relic is gone, too. Castillon will not be happy to hear that, I promise you." says Hayder, saying 'that' heavily.

I look at her, "What's he talking about?"

Isabela ignores me, "There is only one way to settle this."

Isabela throws a dagger clean through the air it spins tip over hilt until it hits it target with a satisfying THWACK. The aimed person crumples to the floor and I sigh.

I really do not need this...

Bandit growls at someone who nears me and I say, taking the Emmit-tactic, "I wouldn't get any closer if I were you. He reeeaaalllyyy doesn't like strangers."

The person draws his sword and Bandit instantly tackles the man, his screams cut short by the mabari.

I tilt my head, "Tsk he didn't listen." I look at Bandit and ask, "Do you want to play tag? Isabela, you, and I are it."

The mabari runs off and I take the dagger from my belt, time to see if self-defense implies to me. Someone runs at me and I step clumsily out of the way, the edge of the dagger just barely missing me. I swallow hard and give a round-house kick to the enemy's chest. Time to remember fighting with the town-boys, and hope it helps. Daniel told me one thing when he taught me how to use a small knife, the best time and the best advantage is when it's a surprise. It won't apply right now, but the small knife concealed in my belt is now mentally burned into my memory. I will use it when necessary, but when I do it's useless afterwards…

I jab my looted dagger into the enemy's shoulder and wince when he cries out in pain. No need to feel pity Alexandra, he's trying to kill you. I then kick the back of his knee sending him to the ground and kick his head so hard he out like an extinguished flame. Yep, I guess my past helps still…

Suddenly I'm taken of notice and three of the people surround me, "Great…" I mutter.

Bandit attacks one, and becomes preoccupied as I raise my dagger up to block a blow. The force jars my arm and I yelp, dropping the dagger. My arm feels weird, and it stings a bit, but I cannot focus on that. One of my opponents shoves me to the ground with a full-force kick to my stomach. I grunt and grab the sore spot, right, weaponless girl… I am getting up when the other one shoots an arrow just before Isabela takes him down. It hits my right shoulder and I gasp as pain instantly rakes through me. I stumble to my feet and see Bandit cornered by two people while Isabela too is fighting. I clench my teeth as pain shoots through my arm. I cannot lift my right arm without it hurting a lot. I'm too careless; I didn't even notice that the other person had a bow. No wonder he let the other one charge first…

Then something slams into the back of my head, making me stumble forward. I see my dagger and pick it up again, using my left hand instead of my right this time. I wouldn't be able to use my right arm anyways…

I turn just in time to see a blade coming down at me and I jump to the right, but the blade leaves a deep slash down my left forearm. I wince, why can't they aim somewhere else?

I see Hayder there bearing his blade toward me. His cold look showing he doesn't care what happens to me. I grip the dagger harder, or as hard as I can. I'm useless against him. Where's Isabela? Isn't she supposed to be fighting him?

My vision blurs a bit and my breath becomes heavy, I now feel the warm stickiness of blood coating my arms and staining my cloths. I look to where Bandit is, but the dog is unconscious and Isabela has to now take on the opponents. She sees me, but cannot get over to help. I look back at Hayder, my face set in determination.

He comes at me and everything is a blur as I remove my concealed dagger, block the on-coming blow weakly with the looted dagger, and stab the throwing knife into his throat. He gurgles and then the noise ends as his body becomes heavy and I fall back out of the way. My head swims, and my arms are blaring with pain. My adrenaline will wear off soon, and it's not even doing much anymore. Isabela takes down the last man and runs over to me, and then it's a blur.

I remember being moved, and a dog's whines, plus someone (maybe a male's voice) screamed my name. Then… Then it all goes black….


	12. Chapter 12

_Here you go, a special chapter. It's short, I know, put it's a sort of add-on to pass the time. I also wanted to introduce these two..._

_**Disclaimer:** You know, I don't own Dragon Age. I doubt I would do any good if I was anyways._

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A man with dark brown hair that is pushed up in the front, bright green eyes, pale skin, his face supporting a bit a stubble, gives a priest a surprised look. His solid build with broad shoulders, and shaped arm muscles exposed by a short-sleeved tunic, show he has fought despite that the cloths are not that of a soldier but it is obvious. A scar runs from his right eyebrow to the left side of his jaw, the way it puckers showing it was not stitched up by a professional. He looks kind though, and thanks the priest as he accepts the letter.

He looks at the letter and reads the words on the envelope…

"Alexandra?" He mumbles in a daze. His voice is rough, but it's clear like a noble's.

His sister is alive? He feared…

Daniel McCallistair shakes his head and limps out of the markets toward the cheaper section of Highever, his right side leaning heavily on a crutch. His right knee was shot during the battle of Ostagar, and it's hard to walk with it. He was given an offer to continue his job as a guard, but with training recruits. He accepted, and now supports his father, Aaron McCallistair, with the house. The old one was destroyed during the siege on Highever, as he opposed Arl Howe and the 'guards' had burned down the old house as an example. Luckily, the books were safely else were. Sometimes Daniel wonders if he knows when things happen, but it's hard to imagine he saw Alexandra being in Kirkwall. That's what the priest said the letter came from. Kirkwall…

Daniel smiles at the people he passes, but his hand clutches the letter to his chest. He was beginning to lose hope, despite Father's urges that she was safe. She has managed to send a letter though, so she must be safe.

He opens the door to a small building and limps in. His father sits at the table with a book, studying its contents with great concentration.

"Father…" says Daniel and Aaron looks up, "Alexandra has sent a letter, she's… Alive."

He smiles, and Daniel can never tell if he ever worried for her. "Well, read it boy. You can hardly expect me to magically see the words."

Daniel nods and opens the letter, smiling at Alexandra's neat handwriting. That's something he did not share with his sister. Then he begins reading:

_Dear Father and Daniel,_

_I have made it to a city in the Free Marches called Kirkwall. I will try to explain things, and I want you to keep certain contents in this letter to yourselves…_

_First of all, I had traveled a lot in Ferelden, and decided upon visiting Lothering… It was there that I met a young man by the name of Emmit Hawke, who helped me get into the Chantry despite the fact that I did not need it. After I tried to get him to leave me alone, he offered to let me stay at his home with his family temporarily. The family was made up of the mother, Leandra Amell, the twins, Carver and Bethany Hawke, and of course Emmit Hawke. I've learned in the first year of my time in Kirkwall that their father, Malcom Hawke had passed away three years prior. Carver was at Ostagar, do you know him Daniel? Anyways, I remained with them for a while. They have this mabari war hound names Bandit, and…. Off subject. Anyways, when Carver Hawke had practically collapsed on their door step, he was patched up and we had to flee immediately. Now, darkspawn are horrible creatures. I was useless to help them, and I wish I could of… It was during our time fleeing that we met Aveline, who helped me get a place to stay at the guard barracks, and her husband Ser Wesley. He __is __was a Templar. Now, this is what remains only to you two, Emmit and Bethany Hawke are mages. Please, do not tell anyone. They are good people, and I owe them everything… _

_Wesley is a hero in my books, and he saved Bethany and Leandra from an Ogre… I hated seeing him die, seeing the Orge crush him… He was a good man and did not need to die… Then, you would not believe this, Flemeth- the fabled witch of the wilds- flew down as a dragon and roasted the darkspawn that began to surround us.. Now, we had planned on going south to Gwarin to take ship, so this helped in more ways than one. She would lead us safely to Gwarin, and in return, we would deliver this amulet to some Dalish elves up Sundermount… We haven't yet, but we will. She led us through the Wilds, knowing exactly how to avoid the horde. Then we took ship a Gwarin, and I wish I could have enjoyed the trip. We were packed in cargo hold though, and I was in shock. _

_Once in Kirkwall, so many Fereldens were already there and terrified. I must say, I was pretty shaken up myself… We got into Kirkwall, but only if we agreed to be in the service of a Smuggler-_

Daniel turns the page.

_named Athenril. We worked for her for the year, and I was not a smuggler. I collected information, and that's my occupation here in Kirkwall. I now help the Hawkes support themselves, and right now I'm gathering jobs for them to do to gather coin. Emmit plans to go on a Deep Roads venture, one lead by some slippery dwarf named Bartrand Tethris. Varric Tethris and I had a run in while I worked with Athenril, but he's helping the Hawkes so I cannot complain. _

_I'm sorry that I did not send a message as soon as I got out of servitude, but… I was so afraid that you two are dead… I don't even know if this letter will reach you…. I have a second family here with the Hawkes, but I miss you both a lot. I've changed, and even the Hawkes notice that… I don't want to change, and I hope you two are reading this… I just want to tell you that…_

_I cannot tell you Father, or you Daniel, that I will be safe. Nowhere is ever safe, but… I have an obligation to help the Hawkes for reason not just because they saved me. I cannot explain it, but I think I've found my purpose, just like Father told me to look for. I wish I could see you two again, but I cannot leave them… I love you two, and laugh Daniel, but I do. I want to say it now, before you're both dead… Or I am… I don't want it to go unsaid and have to regret it all my life. I wish I could say it personally…_

_Love,_

_**Alexandra McCallistair**_

Daniel finishes and feels tears form in his eyes. Father seems happy, his book forgotten and his world complete. Daniel looks over the letter again and hands it to his father, who happily accepts it.

"I hope they treat her as she treats them. I'd say she's in love, but she refers to a family." says Daniel, still stunned at Alexandra's letter.

His father folds the letter back and hands it to Daniel, "It sounds like she has a lot ahead of her. I knew Kirkwall, before the rumors began. Well boy, let us get started on a reply. I'm sure she'll need it."

Daniel looks at him and briefly sees a frown, and then he goes and gets some parchment, ink, inkwell, and a quill. When he returns his father had put away the book.

"Here you go." He says and places the stuff on the table.

His father looks at him, "You seem as if you have a question."

How he figures stuff out, is beyond Daniel. How Daniel chooses to react, is simply the only response a son should give.

"For another time," says Daniel and they begin a letter for Alexandra.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragon Age..._

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My head hurts, but other than that I just feel sore. The last thing I remember is Isabela running at me, but that's it. I still have questions…

My eyes open and I see a ceiling… A familiar ceiling…

Gamlen's house.

It is then that I notice that someone is holding my hand. I look to my right and see Leandra asleep, how did I get here? How would Isabela know where to bring me? I try to resist a cough but I cannot and end up coughing, my throat is dry. I sit up and study my surroundings. Bandit is sleeping to my left, and Carver is asleep by the fireplace. Or is that Gamlen? I cannot tell in the dim light. Is it night? How long have I been asleep?

"You're awake, thank the Maker. Emmit told me not to worry after he healed you, but you've been out for two days now. You lost a lot of blood dear, and he said the pain put you into shock."

"Two days?" I croak. My throat is really dry.

"Stay here, I'll get you some water." Says Leandra as she gets up and leaves to another room. I study myself and see that I am wearing a too-big tunic that is sleeve-less, exposing my bandages arms. Did Emmit or Bethany heal them? If so, why are they bandaged? I look around for my satchel and see it across the room. Great. I sigh and bring my knees to my chest, I'm useless.

Leandra comes back and says, "When that woman, Isabela I think her name was, brought you to Viscount's Keep she caught Emmit just in time. They were so worried about you, not to mention me. Emmit also went through your satchel, said he'd find some jobs to distract himself…"

I sigh and ask after taking a drink gratefully, "What has he accomplished?"

"Well, he met a strange elf during that job with the dwarf. Mumbled something about how it wasn't even for a dwarf in the first place when he got back from that one. He also finished up that job for the man's missing wife… Not a happy one. That's basically all I know of what he's been doing." Says Leandra, giving her report of what happened in the time I've been out. So little, yet so much.

I take another drink and finish off the water, placing the cup on the ground. "Thank-you Leandra. I think it's okay if I-"

Before I finish Emmit comes in with Bethany and Carver in tow. I look at them and they look at me. A heavy silence fills the air, and Leandra leaves to go do something I didn't catch. They take a seat and I lean against the counters, Bandit is obviously awake as is ears are up and he's looking at Emmit.

I clear my throat and begin, "Look, I-"

"I shouldn't have let you go alone," says Emmit, interrupting me.

Bethany looks at me sympathetically and Carver actually seems not so angry at me.

I shake my head, "Look, you had Bandit following me around. And I wasn't even alone. I was just ill-prepared and clumsy. That's not a mistake on anyone's part but mine."

Emmit gives me a sad look, "I could have had Carver go with you, or I could of-"

I get up and hold my arms open wide, "Look, I'm fine now. It's in the past, and it is fine now. No one can do anything now anyways."

Emmit hangs his head and Bethany says, "I for one am glad you are alright."

I nod and Carver says, "I agree with the statement of it being in the past. "

I grin at the support given by the twins and look back at Emmit, waiting for his opinion now. He continues to stare at the ground. I sigh and walk over, crouching down to look him in the eyes.

"Come on Emmit, I'm not dead and I'm safe. No one could ask for more, and no one could do anything to have prevented what happened."

He shakes his head and says, "I could have taken the job instead…"

"And do what? There was fighting on both jobs Emmit, and it's not like I can't get hurt every once in a while. "

I stand up straight and wave for Bethany and Carver to follow me, "If it helps, I'll have them with me."

I grab my satchel and slip on the boots at the end of the bed roll I was in as well as the mended coat. Now it looks like an overly-used and mended piece of cloth shaped like a coat. I need a new one…

Not long after I'm out the door Bethany and Carver are with me. They watch me as we walk down the stairs, silence still here.

"We were all pretty worried when we saw the state you were in…" says Bethany as we continue walking.

"I actually thought you were dead, being so pale. There was no life-threatening wound, but the loss of blood can kill just as much as a blade to the heart." Says Carver, so blunt it could hurt.

I frown and say, "Yes, I suppose that's all true. The fact remains though that I survived. "

I stop at the door to the Hangedman and they give me a questioning look and I answer, "I want to say thanks to Isabela."

"How do you even know she is still here?" asks Carver.

"She's a pirate," I reply simply and push the door open, exposing me to the smell of sweat and stale beer. The dirt could practically make up the walls. I smile and walk into the main room to see the pirate herself at the bar with ale.

I dodge through the crowd to the bar as Bethany and Carver follow. Carver mumbles something about Varric though and leaves to go somewhere else in the Hangedman though, but Bethany stays.

"Thank-you for rescuing me, Isabela." I say, not even alerting her to my presence.

"Ah, so you survived. Hawke was doubly worried when I told him what happened, nice man you have there." says Isabela, not even looking up from her ale.

I blush and say, "He's a friend first of all, and second yes, I am alive."

I hear Bethany giggle and I feel my face heat up more. Emmit is purely a friend, just like Bethany and Carver…

This time Isabela looks at us, "You have potential by the way, with a blade. The reason you got injured was because you were not aware of your surroundings, and that you didn't grip the blade right. You're muscles are also not attuned to the forces that made you drop the dagger."

"Ah, so you were watching." I say, confirming a mental question.

Isabela shrugs and says, "So, did you come here just to thank me or are you here for a specific reason?"

I cross my arms and say, "That was about it, and I felt an obligation to do so. You saved my life, and that needs to be noticed."

"I carried you to the Keep to see if the guards could patch you up, nothing more." She says.

I shrug this time and say, "Either way, you're a good person considering you're a pirate."

With that I left to find Carver, only to find him talking with Varric.

"Ah, Varric. Nice to see you, you never seem to be around when I am." I state, trying to get rid of any ill thoughts of the dwarf. He's helping the Hawkes, so I might as well give him a fresh start.

"I could say the same for you Rose," counters Varric.

"Rose?" Varric grins and so does Carver, which irritates me. Why give me such a ridiculous nickname? Apparently it's an inside joke.

Carver stands up and says, "I think we should talk to that one guy about the Bone Pit, he sent Emmit a letter about it. He hasn't gotten around to looking further into it yet. I assume that follows along your information routine?"

"Something tactical coming from Carver? Well, I'm shocked." I say, mocking surprise.

"You sound like Emmit," says Carver, not impressed by my prodding of him. Worth a shot.

I shrug and say, "Fine by me. I have nothing else planned for today."

"No important job of gathering information? "asks Bethany, surprised that I did not say I was busy.

Her surprise is completely expected, and yea the typical me would say that. Today however, I feel like talking with the twins and doing something that is not associated with my job. Minus the fact of talking to the Kirkwaller who has been hiring Fereldens, yes I heard about him. I know, weird right? I must be going crazy if I actually want a break. I mean, a sane person shouldn't want that right? Well, call me crazy because I want just that despite how slack I've been on the job anyways.

Varric offers me a pint before I leave, but I refuse and explain that I don't drink just like with Croff. I never liked alcohol; it has ill effects that make it obvious as to why one shouldn't drink.

We leave and head for Hightown, my mind wandering. I've been out for two days, and because I got shot in the shoulder as well as a slash on my forearm. Apparently the blood-loss and the shock of pain combined can do that… Emmit is now blaming himself; the twins seem more willing to converse with me. Or should I say Carver is, Bethany and I always seem to get along. I now know a pirate, and she's willing to talk to me; I'm giving Varric a clean-slate, and I have yet to check on Aveline. Apparently I should visit an elf, but I'll do that after visiting Aveline.

Wow, it feels great having nothing to do but relax. Of course, something will happen and I will have to cut the day short.

"Has Emmit made any plans for delivering the amulet?" I ask the twins.

Bethany nods and says, "He was actually planning on doing that job after you woke up. He didn't want to be out of range in case he was needed."

"Hmm," I say.

"You know-"begins Bethany.

"Let's go talk to him after Aveline then. I've been wanting to get out of Kirkwall, and Sundermount seems like the perfect opportunity.

"There are giant spiders there, and who knows what else." says Carver. Is he trying to get me not to go?

I shrug, "Oh well, I'm not afraid of spiders."

Though, my brother is. I remember using that against him so many times, and I'd always me scolded by Father.

Carver shakes his head and we continue climbing steps. Bethany does not continue her statement, and I think that's for the best. Though I am curious as to what she was going to say.

"I might take a look around the market place…" I look sadly at my coat. I had really liked it… It had also been the best thing I owned since we got to Kirkwall.

There are the mends and the attachments, plus my own attempts to mend tiny tears. The arrow hole at the shoulder just could not be made to look decent and the cut down the left sleeve was decent but obvious. Not to mention that if one were close enough, they could see how much I bled. It almost looks like one solid color. To sum it all up, I need a new coat.

Bethany smiles sympathetically at me and I shrug, "It was getting ragged anyways."

"It was a coat," says Carver blandly.

"True and I did like it." I respond to him.

Then Bethany asks, "Emmit told me you sent a letter to your family, did you…"

"Did I tell them you and Emmit were mages? Of course, but they share the same opinion of magic as I do. Plus, they can be trusted with any secret, if…" I fall off the sentence before I finish it. I cannot begin thinking that way.

"You never have told us your opinion of magic." Carver points out.

Ah, that's true… How do I say this to them..?

"My opinion of magic? Well… I do not agree with locking people up just because they COULD become a danger. Normal beings COULD become dangerous, yet they are treated very different. Give a man a sword, and he can choose to kill. A mage is given magic, but one can also choose if they kill. I do agree with their views of Blood Magic though, for it is not a magic that should be used. But here's where the dispute has formed. People fear Blood Magic because they fear being controlled; they fear not having control over their lives, but… Isn't that what they do to mages?

"Templars were formed to keep the mages in check, and the Chantry states that a mage's intention is to control… That's not true though. Every race has those whose intentions are to control, not just mages. I have yet to see a mage who wants to rule anything, let alone with Blood Magic. Then there are the demons, which is where the Chantry has a foundation… Demons are vial creatures, but they are built off of what…? Mortals, and nothing more. They are the sins of mortals, not just the sins of mages. Mages are not even the only ones who can be possessed. I do not want to take sides, but I would take mages if it came down to it… Everyone deserves a chance at life, but they have to choose how to live it. The actions of some should not determine the fate of all… To sum it up, both sides are at fault, but both sides can choose. I heard once that Templars were not as they are now… I just think people hate mages because they fear someone having more power than them, when really everyone is equal… This is a speech isn't it?" I am surprised at myself, for saying so much.

Bethany took in every word though, and Carver did as well. I did not mean to give an entire speech on the subject, but even then it seemed to short to describe my view… Daniel and I frequently discussed the matter back home, and it's just another family view we share. It's funny how we agree so easily, yet are very different from each other…

"That is an interesting look on things," says Bethany a few minutes later when we reach the market district.

"It's another one of those shared views in my family…" I mumble, feeling less talkative after my speech.

"I think that's the most you've ever spoken since we met you." States Carver as we spot the man to talk to about the Bone Pit.

After talking to the man, with great disgust in my opinion, I wrote the information down and put it away in my satchel.

I then look at the cloth merchant's wares and look for the cheapest jacket that seemed decent. I pick up a brown cloth padded on the inside and smile that it's worth only one sovereign. Luckily the man wanted to get rid of it. I trade the ragged jacket for this newer one and regretfully opt to throw it out at the barraks.

"Now to talk to Aveline." I state as I slip the jacket into my satchel.

"She's been busy since Hawke helped her out, is it wise to disturb her?" asks Bethany

"Did I mention I want to change as well?" I ask her. I really do not like the too-large cloths.

"That's the only thing Emmit could find out of our cloths. He never really wears that shirt. I wasn't there, and neither was Mother so he didn't want to look through our cloths…" I nod and smile at her.

"It's fine, but I prefer my cloths. A few sizes smaller." She smiles at my joke. I know I'm a bit on the short side, with Emmit and Carver being a head taller than me. At least Bethany isn't that much taller than me…

Daniel use to say that being small is an advantage, but he also teased me. I'm fine with my height; at least I'm not a dwarf.

We head for Viscount's Keep and I feel happy at the thought of asking Emmit if I can go to Sundermount with them. I've been itching to get out of the walls of Kirkwall.

We enter Viscount's Keep and head for the Barracks Aveline is of course there at the duty roster. That's busy?

"Hello Aveline." I say happily.

Aveline turns to me and says, "Alexandra, thank the Maker you're alright. When that wh- Isabela brought you here, we thought the worst. What were you thinking? That was a Chantry, and you had no way of defending yourself."

"I had a mabari," I say smiling.

She shakes her head and says, "Well, it seems you're fine. Has Emmit seen you? He's been a thorn in my side for the past two days now."

I nod and she raises an eyebrow, "Do you know why he's been acting as such?"

Bethany is about to speak, but thinks better of it. Good girl. "Nope, no clue. He was pretty upset though, so we gave him some alone time."

"And I'm a site to sooth boredom?" Aveline asks, not amused.

I shrug and say, "Well, I wanted to check in with you, and I need a change of cloths."

Aveline nods and waves me away, talking with Bethany and Carver while I leave to my claimed storage room and change my cloths. I am grateful that I bought two pairs of leather braces. The left one of my other pair was ruined by the cut… I frown and wonder how Emmit keeps his equipment un-harmed. Is there a spell for that?

I come back out and see Bethany looking at me. I sigh, she wants to complete her statement.

"Are you finished? Emmit sent word that he's leaving for Sundermount. He's taking Carver and I told Carver to wait for you. " says Bethany. Apparently she doesn't want to complete her statement.

I nod, "Thank-you Bethany."

She smiles and says, "Be careful this time."

I smile back and leave. When I leave I think of how much both Carver and Bethany together remind me of Daniel… I doubt they can send a letter any fast than I can, but I still worry about a reply not coming. I put too much stuff into that letter for it only to end up being read by a Templar and word sent to the Templars here…

I shrug and walk out of the barracks. Everything feels free, even if for a small time. I hate that I worried them, but they have to remember that they do the same stupid things each day and I have to worry for them when they get hurt. Of course, they rarely go into a blood-loss induced sleep for two days even after healing by magic. ANYWAYS, it's the same on both sides.

Fate has a way of playing things the other direction.

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_This is the last chapter you're getting today, I feel like watching a movie after all this typing today... I was going to play DA2, but... That's not an option currently..._


	14. Chapter 14

_This seems short. Does it seem short to you? I think it does. Well, no matter. I should have posted yesterday, but distractions are pesky. Anyways, here you go. I think this chapter is more of information then story, but that's my personal view of it. _

_**Disclaimer**: Blah, blah, blah. I do not own Dragon Age._

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I walk up the steps and see Carver talking to a guard. Of course, the guard does not respond for he is on duty.

"Okay Carver, let's go find Emmit. I suppose Emmit has had enough waiting for two days." I say as I get to him.

Carver gives the guard a nod and starts walking away, "I was just waiting for you."

I feel strange, like this new-found energy is like being a new-born child who just realized it could walk. Not because I'm taking a break, I do not actually need one considering I've been lazy lately. And not because I know I've lived.

It's because I've realized that life isn't going to wait for me to get up. It ran out of patience and shoved me off my lazy ass and into the fray, giving me a dagger and some adrenaline. I'm tired of sitting around knowing what I am going to do but not doing anything. If I want to help the Hawkes, I need to do more than sit around listening while they bust their butts doing jobs I find by sitting around. The choice to go to Sundermount has been made because I want some fresh air, to celebrate my fresh start. I know it sounds weird, but maybe almost dying has turned me a bit loopy. Either way, I have some ideas.

"Alexandra." says Carver, I do not know how many times.

"What?" I ask blinking away my daze.

"You zoned out again." states Carver.

"Well, Were're not in the Keep so I think I did." I say, pointing out how he pointed out the obvious.

He ignores my statement, "Anyways, I wanted to know what you plan to do. After the expedition. I mean, we'll be able to support ourselves and Emmit isn't useless on his own."

"What?" I ask, not understanding a single thing he said.

Carver sighs, "I said, what do you plan to do? You cannot watch over us forever."

I frown, this is where my fresh-start feeling evaporates. I hadn't thought of that. I haven't thought of what I'll do if the Hawkes do not need support any more. Did I just assume they'd be stuck in a bind forever? Did I for some reason assume they'd always need help? What have I been thinking this whole time I've been in Kirkwall?

"You could have left when we were out of servitude, and I know you've already told me why but it doesn't explain anything. Why didn't you leave when you could?" Carver, why do you have to throw such things in my face at the worst times?

I open my mouth to answer, but shut it again as none came out. I've always wanted to travel, so I really could of. I feel loyalty to the Hawkes, sure, but... Gah, I don't know. I thought I already confirmed how I felt about this in the letter I sent to Father and Daniel, so why do I get confused now? Is it because I almost died? No...

I blink, my head clearing from the fog. "Carver... I did not leave because... Because I couldn't. I could not leave you guys, I could not leave Emmit, Bethany, you, and Leandra to go to my father and brother. It might sound weird, but it's not out of loyalty. If it was a matter of loyalty, I'd of apologized and left for Highever the day I could... It's a matter of purpose. I feel the need to be here, a need to help your family. My role may play different parts, but at the core remains the truth. The truth being... Purpose."

Carver frowns, "As much as that is kind, I did not mean to induce another speech."

"Then do not bring up topics that would," I state.

"Has Emmit heard any of your speeches? You've told me and Bethany, but why not the others?" Asks Carver. Look, I got him opening up.

I shrug, "Because I was not asked."

"So, if Emmit were to ask how you feel you'd answer truthfully?" asks Carver.

"Ye- I'm not even going to answer that. You've been talking to Bethany. Tell her, her fantasy is not real." I mutter. Now I've got Carver? Wasn't he suppose to be the younger brother who dispises his brother?

Craver actually grins, "You know, Emmit was mighty worried about you."

"He'd be worried about Anders too, but in truth they hate each other." I state.

"Anders is also the guy who provided us with the maps," deflects Carver.

"He also took a spirit into himself, left the Wardens, a complete lunatic when it comes to Mages versus Templars, and he was turned down. I doubt there's any real reason to worry over his dying except that." I state blandy. I didn't mean to be rude, but he's souring my happy mood.

Carver gives me a puzzled look, "How do you even know Anders?"

I raise an eyebrow, "I can find a simple journal laying around can I not? Emmit is very descriptive."

"How you even manage to..." Carver looks away, not even going to try.

Yes, I read Emmit's private journal. When you ask? Well, I do have free time here and there. Plus, he doesn't hide it very well if he ever meant to.

It is then that we walk down the final steps into Lowtown and see Emmit and an elf talking to "Lady" Elegence.

The elf is tanned with white hair that edges grey eyes. Strange markings cover exposed areas of his skin, pale against the tanned skin. He could be described as handsome but his looks can be thrown out a window by the fact that at a first glance you can tell he doesn't smile. He's very different beside the cheerful Emmit awaiting potions.

"Hello again Emmit," I say as we take the last step.

Emmit spins around and his humorous stance disappears, "Alexandra...?"

I nod, "In the flesh. Something bugging you?"

I know, cruel right? Well, I have to get it out of the way now.

He continues his frown, "I... I'm sorry for before, I was stressed and had been scared that I did something wrong..."

I give him a sad smile, "What do you want me to do Emmit? Give you a hug? That will not do anything."

He gives a small sad smile at that and says, "It'd help me feel a bit better, but I'm sure I'd still be down."

I sigh, why does he look so much like a hurt puppy? Sheesh. I cross my arms and look at Carver, as if urging him to talk to his brother.

"Why are you looking at me?" asks Carver.

Great, now he's useless.

I shake my head and say, "Let's just get to Sundermount."

Emmit accepts the potions with a polite thank-you and they begin walking toward the Hangedman, "I want to see if Isabela or Varric will come along. Just to be prepared."

I nod in understanding, "Yes, that seems about right. Judging by the sword our elf friend here can fight up close.""Fenris"" Fine, Fenris can fight up close. Carver and Fenris draw an opponent's attention to provide a safe attack for the less durable allies. I payed attention to such things while working with Athenril, not to mention my brother."

Emmit raises an eyebrow, "Are you planning world domination in that head of yours?"

I shrug, "Not on such a large scale, just Kirkwall."

He opens the door to the Hangedman and asks, "What would you do then?"

"Purchase Orleasian wines and cheese that tastes of despair giving it to everyone so they're despaired drunks." I say, actually receiving a chuckle from Emmit. I see Carver's lips twitch a bit, almost.

"Did you get hit on the head?" asks Carver.

I nod, "Yeah, and it hurt. I do not suggest it."

"That explains so much," I hear him mumble as he falls back in step with Fenris.

It's not hard to spot the female pirate in the dank tavern. She's at the bar, standing the exact same way as when I last saw her. Has she ever moved today? You'd think she'd have things to do, men to tease, or things to steal. I mean, she's a pirate who has lost her ship. They are... Never mind.

"Isabela, still hugging your ale?" asks Emmit.

Isabela looks up and says, "Enjoy the show. I see Alexandra has come back."

I give a shrug with a smile, "Cannot stay away. Something about the smell of stale piss and ale just brings me back."

Isabela stands up straight, "I'm guessing that you're here requesting my assistance?"

"Is it that obvious?" asks Emmit.

I look at him for a bit then back at Isabela, "Actually, it's for going to Sundermount. Special assignment from back when we were in Lothering. Secret."

Isabela smiles, "I could think of a few other things to do with my time then visit a mountain, but I'll come."

We nod and begin leaving, but I stop and let them continue on-wards. I walk back to the bar and ask, "How much does she owe?"

Croff raises an eyebrow and I smile, "I'll pay her tab."

Croff shrugs and says, "She owes 20 silver pieces."

Sheesh, how much does she drink? I nod and hand him the money, my coin purse feels lighter as I run to catch up to the others. They didn't even notice me gone. Lucky.

I just have a smile on my face. Everything seems fresh, even if I know things will not stay the same. Emmit will linger on what happened, but here he is smiling as well. Isabela seems to have been staying in touch, and I have the possibility of being friends. Fenris is gloomy, but he cannot brood forever can he? Carver, well, I'm getting there. He's still a bit sour, but he isn't angry at me all the time. We can actually have a conversation.

Daniel, Father, I know you guys are missing me. I do too, but how could I tell you...? I want to be here, I feel happy here... I hope they are out there, that they read my letter. I hope they understand this, and can explain it to me. I think too much on this topic, and end up confusing myself more, I know... But I find comfort in it. Comfort in knowing I have things I can think about. Would anyone actually understand that? Maybe not, and maybe it doesn't need to be understood...

Some things just... Are...

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_Okay, Isabela... I'm just getting it out in the open right now. I am incapable of thinking in any manner like she does. This is just a warning so you know to not expect the typical Isabela-like comments that would be expected even outside normal game story-lines._


	15. Chapter 15

_Tada! Okay, late, I know. However, the excuse is that I encountered a very unusual writer's block for me. I had ideas, I had it all planned out, I had reference, and when I began actually typing... I don't know, there wasn't anything coming. After boring my mind to death with Sims 3 and coming up with even more new stories (A terrible habit of mine that constantly distracts me), I decided to finish writing this chapter. I'm also adding in some tid bits that explain some things. These are not needed, just some things I found amusing._

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Dragon Age._

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Sundermount. I take a deep breathe, the fresh air and the various smells fill me and my lungs. I exhale, content. Fresh air, oh how I've missed you. Isabela gave me a dagger as we were leaving the walls of Kirkwall, giving me two short pointers:

1.) Hold on to the dagger this time

2.) Remember to duck

Very helpful tips.

I look to my left and see the gloomy elf, Fenris, and to my right is Emmit. Bandit however, is pressed close to me. Isabela is content to walk elsewhere, and no one seems to question that. We have a while to go, seeing as we have no clue as to where the Dalish Elves have camped on Sundermount. I think back to my comment on Orlesian wines, and the cheeses, wondering how I even came up with that. Oh well, it's been said. I stretch and then scratch Bandit behind the ear. The open skies and the lack of walls evaporate my lust for the outside. Now I feel free and content... If only it could last. I still have to go back to Kirkwall after this...

"So, elves..." I say, trying to start a conversation.

Emmit raises an eyebrow, "What of them?"

I suddenly run out of ideas...

"Um... I think they are... Great, with pointy ears, and... That's all I got." I give up. How did I even expect that to work out? Maybe I should have stuck with cheeses.

"Glad to know you think their pointy ears are great. Do you think it's great that she thinks that feature is great?" Emmit looks at Fenris.

Fenris sighs, "I do not want to participate in this conversation."

I raise an eyebrow, "Well, at least I tried to converse. How about I talk about men? I'm sure Isabela could add in many fine details on that matter."

"I'm sure I could add in a whole lot more than you think Rose." says Isabela as she joins our little group. Rose? By the next sunset, I'm strangling Varric.

Emmit frowns, "I'm sure I could live without that. Could you Fenris?"

"Why did I even bother?" Fenris mumbles.

I grin, "Well, care to start Isabela?"

"How about their attributes?" she asks, her tone implying something beyond looks.

What did I encourage?

Emmit covers his face with his hand, "Maker save me now."

It is then when we come across the GIANT spiders.

I guess you got your wish Emmit, and so did I. I reeeaaalllyyy did not want to talk about that subject, especially from just how Isabela said it...

Now, my natural instinct when I see a spider is to squish it. Simple as that. These died pretty easily, but the gooey mess left behind brings a look of disgust to my face and Emmit's as he has it on his arm.

I take the shirt that I was meaning to return to him and give it to him, "That's just very unappealing."

Emmit happily accepts the shirt and says, "Thanks..."

I watch him wipe the stuff off his sleeve, and see his face frown as he notices how much he's going to need to wash it. I would burn the robe if I were him, but I can tell it's special. It was in a chest I have no clue where it came from. The staff as well. I spot Isabela watching me watch Emmit.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing." is her reply.

I'm not going to bother trying to find a reason, I have no desire of leading myself into the same situation prior to the giant spiders.

Emmit gives me a smile, "I doubt you will carry this in your satchel again?"

I raise an eyebrow, "In your dreams Emmit."

He shrugs and places it on the corpse of a dead giant spider. I do not envy it, and I sure do not miss that shirt.

We continue onwards, and not-so-regretfully leave the gut-covered shirt behind. I'm content to just walk in silence while the others talk amoungst themselves, their party banter not very related to the current event. I can see the signs of people camping around here, and smile. Not much longer.

We immediately run into two elves standing guard.

"Hold Shemlen, your kind are not welcome among the Dalish." says one elf. Male... Elf... Nothing more needed to describe him.

I raise an eyebrow and Emmit asks, "What's a Shemlen?"

"It's the elven word for human," answers Fenris with little care.

The male elf glares at us and says, "It means that you are not one of the People and that you must leave."

"One way of putting it," I mumble.

"I'm not expecting tea and cakes, I just looking for someone."

"There's nothing for you here shemlan." states the male elf.

The female elf calms him down, "Wait, this is the one the Keeper spoke of."

The male elf looks surprised and irritated, "A shemlen? I thought he'd be an elf."

The female elf seems more willing to greet us than her male friend, not that she's pleased.

"Enter the camp, Marethari has been waiting for you." says the female. The male glares at us, "Cause trouble and you'll meet our blades, stranger."

We enter the Dalish camp and I'm surprised to see how they fare. They seem far different from the alienages, that's for sure. They are encircled around the center of camp in which a fire burns. Two other fires are lit on each side of the camp, and I see a stand set up to trade and sell. Elvish wears? I will have to look into that. First, however, we need to deal with this "Marathari" person.

The elves had pointed us to the elderly elf woman standing beside the center fire. I frown, expecting more. She's a mage, judging by he staff on her back. I did expect something else, someone much like Flemeth. We are delivering the amulet from the Witch of the Wilds to this "Keeper", so...?

We walk up to the old elf, "Marathari? I was told to deliver this amulet to you."

"Indeed I am Marathari, come closer and let me see you." says the elder. "There is a light in you. Tell me how this burden fell to you, child."

Emmit asks her a few questions before saying, "A dragon fell from the sky, chard a few darkspawn, and asked be to give this to you."

Marathari tells us about some ritual, and how we have to take someone with us.

"Who is this First?" I ask.

"She is what you would call my apprentice. Her name is Merrill." answers Marathari.

"That seems a little odd." Emmit states

We say good-bye and go to find this Merrill.

I hear a weird sound and we see Merrill, "Oh, I didn't hear. You must be the one the Keeper spoke to me about."

She rambles and then says, "I'm Merrill. Which you probably already knew. I'm rambling, sorry."

Now I know I'm not like this often, but she is adorable! She looks like a kitten, with big green eyes and... Can we keep her?

"Don't worry, it'll take more than that to offend me. The name is Hawke." says Emmit.

I cannot help but grin at how Merrill stumbles at Emmit's cutting sarcasm. Trust me, she looks like a kitten. Pure and sure.

After a bit more conversation we travel with Merrill a bit until...

Skeletons... Of course... A simple job wouldn't be complete without skeletons right? I stay back as far as I can, watching them beat away at the hollow beasts. It takes a bit and...

Wait.

Oh, dang it.

I rub my temples and mutter, "She's a mage. Do we not have enough?"

It took a while to process, but it's obvious. Merrill is a mage, with magic and everything. Why? She looks like a kitten, but she brings about a chunk of trouble for me. It's a burden to bear between me and now Aveline to keep the templars from sniffing the trails of the mages. It's bad enough with three, now four? As if Emmit doesn't cause me enough problems in that area.

I walk over and frown as Merrill responds to Emmit with the ignorance of how to respond to sarcasm and jokes. A mage... Emmit brings this up, but resolves to talk about it later. I doubt he'll walk out on his deal anyways. He sympathizes with mages anyways, to a point. He's not like Anders, who apparently cannot go a minute without ranting about the friction between mages and templars. He will take pity on them though, and Merrill just screams "In need of pity" if she ends up in Kirkwall. How is she a Dalish elf?

This is all coming from the brief haven't-talked-to-personally encounter with her, so that should speak for itself.

We continue up the mountain and Emmit falls back a bit to talk to me, "What's wrong?"

I look at the ground, "What else? There's going to be another mage to deal with and my good-feeling energy has gone poof. I doubt there's much to be smiling about anyways."

He frowns, "You can go back to their camp, I saw you eyeing the merchant's stuff. You do not HAVE to follow."

I shake my head and raise an eyebrow at him, "Do you really not pay attention? I'm not going to sit back in a camp. I want to see this rite anyways."

Emmit grins, "Adventure seeking I see." Then his face turns serious, "Stay out of trouble though, really. I don't want you getting hurt."

"No need to worry Emmit, I do not plan on attacking any skeletons today. Plus, I do not plan on accidentally getting hit by a spell." I say and wave for him to go back to the others. He doesn't leave though and I sigh. It is then that we meet another elf.

"So Marathari finally found someone who will take you." says the elf to Merrill sourly.

Merrill frowns and seems hurt, "Yes."

"Good. Do your task human, and don't come back." the elf then leaves and Emmit shifts as silence hovers over our group.

"Well, Sundermount seems very... mountainous today... Lots of rock and... hillside." He says awkwardly.

Merrill apologizes and we head up the small amount of distance to a tunnel. Emmit had complained when we had encountered the rock slide that had blocked our path. Lets just say that tunnels and caves equal more giant spiders and trouble. Not a nice mixture, but not unexpected for how Emmit has been going through life.

Then Merrill stops us, "I am so sorry, they're not usually like this."

Emmit grins, "But the Dalish are delightful, I was just thinking about inviting them over for tea and cakes."

Sarcasm is his way of solving anything, and I've just gotten use to it.

"I doubt they'd... Oh, right, sarcasm... Well, let us get this over with shall we?" So. Much. Like. A. Kitten.

I sigh and follow them into the cave, feeling like it's going to collaspe on me any second. Is there any way to escape in case of danger? How do we know this won't end in a dead end?

I'm suddenly developing claustrophobia...

The giant spiders do not help me in any way. I literally had to pull myself from webbing that caught my leg. Have I ever mentioned I hate it when I walk into that stuff? A pain to deal with... I pick the last of it off and Isabela asks if I'm having trouble in a mocking tone. Ha, ha. Very funny...

Emmit distracts himself by bandaging Carver's arm which got bitten by a spider. Emmit didn't fully heal it so he could preserve his mana to help later on in case of an emergency. I do not doubt that it will be needed.

I stretch and say to Isabela, "You know, I do not think I can simple squish a spider any more. The normal ones I mean. I think I will have to stomp on them an rub them into the ground where they stood."

Isabela smirks, "That's quite a grudge you have their Rose."

I nod and say, "I hate spiders."

We then continue, Isabela and me having a nice conversation when not fighting. I do not think she's all that bad, and I'm still talking about a pirate. Though the several perverted remarks pass me by completely, I can actually talk to her. Maybe, if I am able, I could ask her to teach me how to fight. Eventually, but not now. Right now, amulet.

It's when we climb out of this dreaded cave that I feel my opinion for Merrill drop to dead bottom. We encounter a barrier and she takes out a knife, cutting her hand. Emmit pales a bit and I see him become ridged. Fenris curses and Isabela sighs.

Blood Mage.

I shake my head, "Are you insane? Blood Magic is feared all throughout Kirkwall, and you want to come with us? Not to mention..."

Emmit grabs my shoulder and shakes his head. Translation: We'll discuss it later.

I feel anger bubble up inside, blood magic? I may not share the same views as the templars, but I know how evil such magic is. As much as one might try, it can never be used for good. Ever. I've only known one blood mage in my entire life, and he was slaughtered where he stood. I do not believe in such treatment, but it is brought upon by their choice. I cannot believe that for a while there I considered that I MIGHT be able to help this elf as well as my friends. But this... I shake my head and fall to the back of the group, letting myself boil in my unexpected anger.

I'm not usually like this, but this goes against my morales. It's not as extreme as Anders' or Fenris', but it's THERE. It's been PASSED, and I can do nothing. It's Emmit's choice whom he communicates with, and I just have to deal. Merrill seems like a good person, sure, I've figured that out from the small amount of time here. The problem is how she uses her magic, and if she's doing it for good reasons but by the wrong means.

Father once told me that the end does not justify the means, and I think this would apply... I am jolted out of my thought as Emmit pushes me down, and out of the way of a charging skeleton. I yelp and kick my leg out, making it tumble and fall to pieces as it crashes into the ground. I instantly kick it's head out of reach for good measure and run to a hazard-free area. I'm getting kind of better, even if I'm no where near good. I took one out didn't I? Okay, I had help, but that doesn't count.

After the last foe falls we head up to the altar and my doubts flood me. What if this is a trap? Marathari did not specifically say where up the mountain to do this rite, and we are trusting on very little knowledge.

I feel like banging my head on a wall.

This is just me being nervous, and my mistrust in Merrill so far. I cannot let this cloud the goal, which is to complete the task assigned to us by Flemeth. No matter the cost right? Our safe passage in return for this?

Merrill places the amulet on the altar and speaks in a tongue that I'm going to take an educated guess at and say it's elvish. Or magic, either one works. Both are foreign to me. Suddenly a show of lights begins and I cover my eyes like the rest, and the last to uncover them.

Flemeth...

She was in the amulet?

"Huh, maybe amulets do have eyes..." I mumble to Flemeth.

This turns her direction to me. Great.

"Not quite my dear, just this one. Though I doubt you'd care one way or the other." She says in an all-knowing manner.

I frown, "You'd be correct."

She smiles strangely at me and I continue to frown, she's creeping me out. Luckily she directs her attention to Emmit.

"I have expected to end up in the pocket of a merchant." She states.

Emmit doesn't seem pleased at this occurrence, "No one would pay for it. Maybe because it had a WITCH inside?"

"Not completely, just a piece." Says Flemeth.

Either way, you got here by unnatural means. Magic can do things unknown, thus why people fear them. I understand, I disagree, and I agree. That does not mean I won't get confused by it.

Flemeth was inside the amulet? I cannot say I am that surprised. According to legend, she's the Witch of the Wilds, and apparently she is very powerful and very old. I've never much cared for tales spun by others, and even if I did it was only vaguely for safety's sake. If one can turn into a dragon, or the other way around, then it speaks volumes of the power they have. However, the tales spoke of many things that Flemeth does, none to any are pleasant...

Suddenly, as if my thought process was turned down to the slowest speed and I missed everything, Flemeth leaves and I'm standing there staring at the empty space. My life just gets better and better doesn't it? I hurry and follow the group, everyone silent on the way back. Apparently dragon/witches appearing from amulets you've been carrying can bring that about.

I make my self a mental note to sketch Flemeth, for Emmit to add to his journal. Perhaps, when this is all over, I'll take it and give it to a historian. Because, much to my distaste, I doubt this is the last of our adventuring here in Kirkwall... Something else is bound to drag us into more trouble with Emmit's luck...

Sometimes I wish things could really be simple, and we could all live life without complications...

I smile, receiving a questioning look from Emmit, but I ignore it.

I wouldn't trade any of this for anything in the world, despite my complaints.

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Okay here we go:

1.) I've never written fanfiction before, so this actually began as a test story that I never expected to continue.

2.) Since it was a test, I took my original character (Adriana) from one of my very own stories and changed a few things so she'd fit in this story.

3.) Alexandra is blond with bright blue eyes, and is short. The character she's based off it tall-ish with black hair and icy blue eyes.

4.) Alexandra's name origins confuse me, because I never actually liked the name.

5.) Originally, Varric's nickname for Alexandra was Princess, but I woke up one morning realizing how much that did not fit in.

6.) Alexandra's favorite food is bread, though that will never pop up in the story.

7.) The reason Alexandra does not drink is because she was drunk once when she was younger (7) and ran around Highever wearing nothing but her small cloths. (I found myself inserting that into her back story at school and trying so hard not to laugh as I imagined it.) This will also never pop up in the story.

8.) I actually wanted to make Alexandra Orleasian, and come from Val Royeaux, but then I remembered how much I hated their accents.

9.) Alexandra is afraid of bees, imagine that! Another thing never to be found in the story, but amusing.

10.) I wanted Carver to be killed, because I hated his character, but after reading suggestions I realized that I might just make him a bit cheerier with Bethany still being alive.

11.) Emmit was originally going to be a warrior, but he's entrance into the story was unfortunately made him a mage because he wasn't at Ostagar. (I love being a mage, but always hated the sibling that came with it... )

12.) I found my mind skipping all the way to the 3rd act, drawing a little mini-comic thing of how it starts.

And that is it. These were just some things I found amusing and decided were safe enough to tell. Again, sorry for the late post, and sorry for the lack of conversation details. My source of information went missing, thus the lack of dialogue details.

Ball of twine, still love that. :)


	16. Chapter 16

_Okay, I'm sorry for the late update. I was at my moms for the weekend, so no internet, and I've been sick which concludes me feeling like crap for the past invisible days. So, I winged this story with little motivation and found ,with great disappointment, many spelling errors so kindly pointed out by the spell check on Google Chrome. _

_Anyways, I've been on the computer way to often lately for my family to stand, so I've come up with a plan. I'll post one or two chapters a week, starting this week. I need to please the family they so kindly allows me the capability to actually write and post my stories online, so yeah... On wards, enjoy the short chapter of badly-written-maybe-to-be-rewritten-ness._

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Dragon Age_

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We make it back to Kirkwall relatively fine, though I think Merrill was disappointing that two of our little group will purposely walk away when she got close. That's me and Fenris if you haven't guessed. I'd go off and walk beside Emmit, and Fenris would just straight up walk away. I hate being mean, but she is a blood mage...

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" asks Emmit as we head for the Alienage.

I frown, "I... She's a blood mage Emmit, and I know you disagree as well!"

Emmit shrugs and gives a wide grin, "She seems innocent enough."

That is... true... Merrill is currently admiring the not-so-grand scenery of Kirkwall. She's so fascinated at it, and oblivious to things. I guess that's the result of living away from civilized world, living out with the trees and all...

I shake my head, "Even with the best intentions, blood magic is not what should be done. Templars fear it for a reason, and if used it confirms their fears. Emmit..."

"The ends do not justifies the means?" He finishes.

I scowl, idiot. Then I glance at the elf and back at the way in front of us. We are headed to the Alienage where living arrangement will be set up for Merrill, seeing as she'll be a constant sight.

I stop and say, "I'll go check in on Aveline, okay?"

Emmit frowns, and opens his mouth as if to ask something, but thinks otherwise and waves his okay. I know I'm not making anything easier for him, but it works both ways. I quickly take leave and high-tail it back to Hightown. Sundermount might have been a well-needed event, but I've got things to do.

...{-*_*-}...

I again wake up and see the familiar ceiling of my little space at the Keep, in the same bedroll with the same morning look. It's been two days now, since Sundermount. I had asked Aveline to teach me to use a sword but she told me she didn't have the time and apologized. I had deflated at that, but I'm still here. I sit up, run my fingers through my golden blonde hair until it is decent then continue my morning routine of getting dressed, cleaning up, and checking outside the tiny room.

People shuffle about, but not many.

I leave the Keep after finding Aveline gone and walk down the familiar steps. Emmit determined, after his constant job-doing, that he's ready for the Deep Roads venture. I might as well say my good-byes, so he doesn't think I've been avoiding him. Seriously, I've been busting my butt finding him jobs and have not really talked to him aside from giving them to him. At least I've been doing my job for once.

I whistle a bit and go to where Bartrand has been staying every day pondering over what to do on the venture.

Emmit is already there with Varric, Fenris, and Aveline. I blink, surprised. They're here early.

"Rose, I was beginning to doubt you'd come," says Varric. I narrow my eyes, I still owe him a strangling.

"It seems I fail to disappoint," I mumble.

Aveline crosses her arms, "I've agreed to helping Emmit on this venture, so I want you to keep an eye on the men while I'm gone and report anything when I get back. I don't like the idea of them not being watched."

"They're the watchmen, I doubt they'll be doing anything more then watching themselves." states Emmit with a grin.

I shake my head, "Watch it Emmit, you'll be underground with her for weeks. No one will ever suspect a thing if you just happen to go missing."

"She wouldn't hurt a fly," is his reply.

"Want to bet?" asks Aveline in a warning tone.

Emmit shrugs and says, "Well, lets get this over with. I'd rather be with that dwarf for as little time as possible."

"That's my brother you're talking about Hawke." states Varric, feigning hurt.

Emmit grins, "Everyone knows you feel the same."

Varric only replies with a chuckle and we find Bartrand.

Now, I cannot say it went well. Bartrand is Bartrand, so he's just a pain in the ass one way or the other. He didn't seem to pleased with the spliting of profit, but how can he say no now? We are accepted, and Emmit states that he'll go and say good bye while Bartrand gathers things.

...(Insert crappy intermission music)...

Emmit hugs his mother, trying to get her to stop bawling. It must be hard to watch her son going into a place infested with the creatures that drove them from their home. Carver, however, is having a pissy fit over in a corner because Emmit refuses to allow him on the venture, which I found sensible. Not only is it tactics-wise, but also family-wise. Leandra cannot have two of her children going down there and still be expected to be fine. Bethany gives Emmit a long hug, and tells him to be careful.

We leave Gamlens house peacefully.

I need to get back to the Keep, even though it's early in the day. Aveline will want to know I'll keep my word, so I might as well reassure her by being at the Keep when she leaves.

We walk in silence to Hightown, stopping only in the Market area to exchange good-byes. I will say a quick good-bye and be off, that's it. No need to make it like saying good-bye to family like back at Gamlen's place.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on them." I say.

Emmit grins, "I know, but don't go about thinking you'll get by. I'll be back soon, that's a sure guarantee."

"You also jinxed yourself," I mumble. He makes it sound like I'll get into trouble,and everyone knows it's him who finds trouble.

Then he hugs me.

Just like that, hugs me.

I stand really still and rigid, feeling very awkward. I wasn't expecting this at all, thinking only of trading words of good bye and then done. I didn't expect getting a hug like I was family.

However, he doesn't release the hug.

I shift a bit and cough, alerting him.

He quickly lets go and says, "S-sorry. Be careful while I'm gone, thugs about everywhere you know."

"I know..." I say almost quietly.

I watch him walk off and manage to briskly walk off toward the Keep only when he's gone. Not what I expected to happen today...

I frown and chew slightly on the inside of my cheek, pondering over what to do while they're gone. Maybe I could talk to Isabela, and I'll defiantly be visiting the Hawkes often. I can honestly say I've not much to do, seeing as finding jobs was the only thing keeping me busy lately.

Oh well, sometimes I'll just have to wing it.


	17. Chapter 17

_Alright... I had hoped for this to be much longer, like packing the entire week(s) into this chapter, but man does my family get in the way. Okay, well, I have happy news that counteracts the bad news I thought I had to inform you guys of (Hence why I wanted a super long chapter). I will have internet access (hopefully, the information was received through an unreliable source), and be able to post for the month of June that I had assumed that I would not. I will, however, be camping next week. So I might or might not have a chapter up for you guys then, but oh well. Here is a chapter that I kind of am disappointed in, considering it has the giant time skip I did not want. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragon Age. _

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I wake up to the familiar ceiling of my little space at Viscount's Keep once again. I blink and just lay there, staring. Emmit left yesterday, and now I've nothing left to do. Aveline is gone, so talking to her is out of the equation... It is then that I get up and stretch my sore muscles. Sleeping on the floor still holds little appeal, but it's still somewhere...

I do my morning routine and then quickly leave the Keep, feeling awkward without Aveline there. I seriously need my own place, I cannot live off of Aveline all the time... Maybe I can find coin while Emmit is away, that'll occupy me.

Something, however, leads my feet to Lowtown.

I pass "Lady" Elegance and down the frequent steps. The disgusting smells of Lowtown are as familiar as the ceiling of my space where I sleep. The noise is dull whispers, frequenting rumors and secrets I so easily push aside unless it catches my fancy.

Or, I use to.

I frown at the remembrance of the fact that Emmit doesn't need me hunting for jobs anymore, until I reach the door of the Hangedman. I look at it surprised, not knowing why I even thought to come here.

I shrug and walk in, ignoring the smell of sweat and the filth. I turn the corner and spot Isabela talking to Merrill. I freeze, but Isabela spots me.

"Come around again? Your man is off on the Deep Roads trip right?" asks Isabela, not being discreet at all.

I scowl as I walk over and say, "First of all, Emmit's not 'my man', and yes I'm here again. Run out of things to do."

Merrill frowns in confused innocence at me, "Then why were you talking so much on our from Kirkwall?"

I feel my face heat up, "I- Because a broody elf wasn't much of a conversationalist, and Isabela..."

"Problem?" Isabela teases.

I frown, "Okay, I didn't come here to be teased."

"Oh, sit down Rose. I was only playing. Merrill here was just explaining how she finds Kirkwall interesting. Weren't you Merrill?" Isabela grins, and I reluctantly take a seat next to the still pants-less pirate woman.

Merrill then goes on and on about the typical things of Kirkwall, and how fascinating they were. I sort of zoned out, my anger having simmered down after three days ago. I'm still not fine with the Blood Magic. Never will I ever be fine with it.

"So, Rose, what will you be doing once Hawke no longer needs a job-hunter?" asks Isabela. She's as blunt as she is perverted.

I tap my fingers on the filth covered table and look away, "I was actually going to talk to you about that..."

Isabela shrugs, "Asks away."

I watch the waitress who frequents the Hangedman and ask Isabela, "Could you.. Could you teach me to fight?"

Merrill gives a confused look, "Why would you want to learn such a thing. Well.. There is giant spiders and thugs..."

Isabela chuckles, "I won't turn down a challenge. Plus, with what you have shown, you're terrible at fighting."

I spin my head around to the pirate in surprise, "Just like that? Nothing in return?"

"No, it costs a fee of five sovereigns... Of course it's free Rose, it's not like Hawke needs me twenty-four seven. I can teach you in my down-time." I smile a big smile of relief, having been afraid she'd turn down my wanting to learn like Aveline had.

"T-thank-you, seriously, I thought you'd refuse."

Eventually we all talk for a while, random topics and having to explain things to Merrill. Isabela gives me some pre-training tips, and I ask questions. Not much else happens, even after Merrill eventually leaves. We play Dimondback, and I have no idea how to play even with Isabela's pointers. I obviously lost, and Isabela won a few coins. I'm happy to say she generously only took half, letting me off easy for my first time playing.

Then it begins getting a bit late and I get up, "Thanks again Isabela, I really appreciate this."

Isabela nods and says, "I might just be able to scrape a few drinks from you."

I smile, "Just remember to pay your tab."

I then leave and head for Gamlen's place. I should have gone earlier, because it's getting dark and I still have to get back to Viscount's Keep... The hovel isn't far from the Hangedman, and in no time I'm knocking on the door.

Carver answers and nods at me, "Alexandra."

So blunt and brief.

"Hello to you too Carver. May I come in?" I don't feel much like keeping my back exposed while it's dark.

He steps out of the way and I enter to see Bethany and Leandra occupying themselves with books, and Gamlen counting his coins.

Bethany looks up and smiles a big smile, standing up in the process. "Alexandra, why are you here so late?"

I frown, "Checking on you guys..."

Leandra shakes her head, "You shouldn't being walking around at night. Imaging what Emmit would say."

I give a confused look, never having thought they'd point the facts out. I'm a grown woman, not a little girl with no defense.

"I didn't walk far, just from the Hangedman... Anyways, I'm not scared of a few thugs." I counter.

Carver snorts, "You obviously haven't had to deal with them."

I sigh at this comment and say, "Fine, what do you want me to do? Magically pop back in the Keep? I'm no mage, and I'm sure there's no such magic."

Leandra shakes her head, "No, you will be staying here. Since Emmit is gone, there's an empty spot you can stay in."

Before I can argue, Leandra leaves to get me bedding. I sigh and slump down in a nearby chair. Gamlen grumbles something and leaves, leaving Bethany, me, and Carver.

"Don't worry, we don't bite." Bethany says, as if trying to cheer me up.

I sigh again and Leanrda informs me of my place to sleep for tonight. "I really do not like intruding upon you guys, it's the reason I'm staying at the Keep in the first place."

"You're intruding upon Aveline," Carver points out.

I sigh and rest my head in my hands that are propped on my knees by my elbows. "What do you guys want me to do? I cannot afford to live in even a hovel, and I have little to no way of getting coin. I do not want to work with Athenril again."

Bethany smiles, "Well, it's not something to worry about tonight. Right Mother?"

Leandra nods and shoos us off to bed saying, "Get some rest, I have stuff planned for tomorrow."

...

...{~*~}...

That is how I'm here today.

I rub my temples and groan in frustration, never having liked shopping. Leandra cannot afford much right now, sure, but she can still drag us along to admire things while getting food. Nothing like good old fashion dress viewing...

Bethany is currently studying a blue scarf and Carver is standing not far from me. I look around, seeing the traditional Lowtown markets. I look at my feet and scuff them on the stone ground as Leandra rambles on and on about what kinds of clothing a proper woman should wear. Honestly, I'm fine with the cheap trousers and tunics I've picked up now and then. My jacket especially.

"Enjoying you're time?" Carver whispers.

I shake my head, "Leandra is a woman, Carver, she grew up with this stuff."

"And you didn't?" he questions.

I shrug, "I did, but never wore any of it from the time I could dress myself. Father never pushed things unless what we did endangered us. To be honest, I think it protected me better than dressing up in such frill. Men never thought to cross me, nor did they give me a second look."

Carver nods, "Sure, but have you ever thought about fitting in? Bethany wants just that."

I study the young woman that was implied. Bethany truly does want to be normal, with no magic, and with the things spoken of. She's beautiful, that is not in question, and she's kind. I've no doubt she'd be an excellent noble, with dresses and manners... I, however, grew up with a father and older brother. I never had a mother-figure in my life, nor did I stare in awe at the nobles of Highever for more than their money. I played with the village boys, and tricked the wanna-be princesses. I never thought twice about being like them, having been content with the father that loved me and took care of me as well as the pain-in-the-ass bother.

I smile, "Normal is very overrated Carver, I prefer being me."

Carver frowns at my answer, and I begin studying a book. It's one of Genitevi's "In the Pursuit of Knowledge: The Travels of a Chantry Scholar" I sigh and put the book down, having seen frequent copies many times before. Then I look at it for a minute again, having a second thought.

Emmit doesn't have many books...

I picked it up and ask the sales woman how much, then paying the amount and stuffing the purchased book gently into my satchel. Carver raises an eyebrow and I shrug, not caring to give a reason for simply purchasing a book.

It gets late quickly, and by the time the sun is high in the sky, Leandra leads us to Gamlen's house with measly amounts of food to supply them for the time being. I smile a smile of thanks to them and say my good-byes. Once out I walk back to Hightown, running into a message boy not far from the Markets.

"Alexandra Mc...Callistir?" asks the boy, pronouncing my name "stir" instead of "stair", which I find amusing.

I nod and ask, "Is there anything particularly important young man?"

The boy blushes slightly at being called "young man" then hands me a thick message saying, "This here came all the way from Highever ma'am."

I thank him and the boy leaves, I quickly open the envelope to reveal three letters. I smile a big smile and put them in my satchel to read at the Keep where I have privacy. My feet carry me quickly through Hightown for once, eagerness fueling me like adrenaline. Once in the Keep, I flee to my little occupied space and light a candel.

I take the letters out and begin reading, the first one from Father:

_Dear Alexandra,_

_My darling girl, you've done more than could possibly been expected. You told me once that you wanted to be a knight, following after your brother like a lost puppy. But you've grown up since then, those dreams faded and you became far more into the talent of books and writing. You've stepped out of your closed world once again my dear, and I'm positive it'll only continue you grow._

_So many things have happened, and so many things have been lost. The books are safe though, and so are your belonging that you entrusted to me. I do believe your story-book you wrote when you were younger lost a page though, so I'll look forward to you repairing it. Just an excuse for you to visit I suppose, but I assume you'll visit eventually if there was an excuse or not. Your adventures, however, seem to have moved out of Ferelden. I've visited the Free Marches every once and a while, but as you remember I'm a Ferelden at heart. Plus, Kirkwall isn't the best place for your mageling friends. Templars still frequent that place, correct? If so, keep an eye out and make sure they never catch of whiff of magic. I do not doubt you'll guard them as well as that Mabari you wrote about, but I know well enough that Daniel did not actually teach you to fight. Be safe, and stay strong my darling._

_Your eyes see the world, but it's only there if you believe it to._

_Love your father,_

**_Aaron McCallistair_**

I smile at the short, yet descriptive letter from Father. Daniel will be less descreet.

Then I pick up Daniel's letter and read it:

_Dear Sister,_

_I know I'm not as great at writing as Father, and I have no idea what he wrote, but just know that I feared the worst of you. I thought the Blight had taken you and I'd never be able to see my little sister again. I cannot say how grateful I am that this was not the case... I didn't laugh, honestly, but I am happy that you found something to make you smile up there in old Kirkwall. Maybe I'll visit, if that's alright. Or... You could visit us. I'm in favor of the latter._

_As for the Hawkes, I do not know what to say besides their secret is safe with us. Cross my heart and hope to die, right sister? You've adventures ahead, and I'm stuck in old Highever teaching boys that war isn't glory, but rather glory is in the acts you choose. They still do not see the difference between recklessness and courage, but that'll soon change. The old house is gone, to my great disappointment, but Father saved the books and we purchased another less clean place. It's still livable, and we have an open room welcome to you._

_I, however, have bad news considering health factors. It's not a big deal, honestly. I do not want you worrying, like you usually do. I took a beating back at Ostagar, and an arrow to the knee. My leg is officially crippled, and may no longer... May no longer pursue my dream of being a knight... I like the kids though, and I guess it's a good life. Maybe some day, I'll be able to travel like you and Father have. That's a slim possibility, but just maybe the Waking Sea and the mountain points of the FrostBack Mountains are worth it._

_Write often, and stay safe..._

_Love, your brother,_

**_Daniel McCallistair_**

I grin at the two letters, and at how Daniel is far more open than Fathers. I cannot express the relief that overwelms me, knowing that my fears are not correct. I even, for once in a long long time, feel tears bite at the edges of my eyes. I bite my lip and neatly fold the letters back, safely storing them in case I want something to comfort me in hard times. Then I look at the third letter, sealed by a wax seal bearing Father's symbol typically branded into the backs of books that he repaired. In neat flowing handwriting I read:

Read only when needed most.

I frown at this, but do not question. For what ever reason it may be, Father has those reasons. I dare not question him, for he rarely seemed wrong. Plus, the last time I became curious I ended up running from darkspawn with two apostates and to a templar infested city.

Joys oh joys.

I safely put the sealed letter with the other two and begin writting my own letter, explaining everything that has happened without adding content that will worry them. I explain the Hawkes, and the pirate who lost her ship, and the elven mage that finds even twine fasinating, along with the broody elf with the strange markings, and the rambling mage who use to be a Grey Warden. I explain it all, from Hightown to the lowest docks. I want them to known what I see, and that I'll be fine.

I smile happily as I finally finish and leave to send it away. For once... I feel like everything is alright...

-{~*~}-

I look puzzled at the gathering of people in Lowtown, then it turns to sheer panic as I see two templars pushing into the crowd.

I shove pass the people, screaming at them to let me pass. I finally make it through and dart up the steps, ignoring the templars shouting at me. I bust through the door and see Bethany standing with Knight-Captain Cullen. I give a look of despair that quickly turns to anger, which then turns to surprise as I am shoved to the ground to be pinned there helplessly. I see Carver struggling against two templars as well, his face showing a seething anger that understates just how pissed off he is. I jerk around only to yelp in pain as one of my arms is twisted behind my back.

Bethany looks at me with a scared expression, "Alexandra! Stop, I don't want you getting hurt."

I bare my teeth and glare at the Knight-Captain, "Let her go!"

With more struggling and having to watch Bethany take her few possessions and pack them away, and see her come out of the back room in Circle clothes, Emmit crashes in.

His face holds anger equivalent to Carver's, pure and a seething hot that plain screams "I'm going to kill you".

"What's going on?" he nearly growls.

"Mistress Bethany is being taken to the Circle of Magi in the Gallows. " Knight-Captain Cullen says with little emotion.

Caver jerks and Emmit glares at Cullen saying, "I won't let you take her."

Just as Emmit takes a step, Bethany stops him, "Brother, please, let me go. I do not want any of you getting hurt."

"Consider yourselves fortunate. Her cooperation allows us to spare you for harboring a dangerous mage. This once." Cullen says, ignoring the staff of Emmit's back apparently.

I start struggling again only to get wacked on the back of the head. Then, with much restraint and sadness, they leave. The templars restraining me and Carver follow soon after. Carver very nearly chased after them if Emmit hadn't stopped him. Leandra falls to the floor and begins to sob over the loss of her baby girl. I lay there unmoving, guilt raking through me. Tears form in my eyes and I just lay there. My face is pressed to the filth covered floor, and the sounds seem muffled as I ponder my uselessness.

I couldn't stop them, I hadn't even know they knew. I thought I was careful with my hiding them... I couldn't even fight back when they were taking her, I was unarmed and useless.

Then someone touches my shoulder gently. "Get up Alexandra."

I obey and sit up, seeing Emmit with an outstretched hand. He doesn't seem to even blame me...

I accept the help them instantly hug him, feeling tears again as I say:

"I'm sorry..."


	18. Chapter 18

_I know, this is late. But, I'm not afraid to admit it, I've been distracted by a video game. Not to mention, I did put thought into this chapter. Even though it turned out to go in an entirely different direction then I intended... Anyways, here it is. Chapter 18. Thank-you for the reviews, they are a giant help. _

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragon Age._

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You know, that day when Bethany was taken will never go away. It'll linger there for years to come, whether it's in the back of my head or in my present thought. I've been told it's not my fault, but when has anyone stopped blaming themselves just because someone else said it wasn't them? If you can tell me, then please do…

Carver left to join the Templars not long after Bethany's removal. I can pretty much guess his reasons, but I was still stuck with Emmit comforting the mother left behind.

My training with Isabela has kept me distracted for the most part, never taking a day off unless I felt I needed one because I couldn't continue or by Isabela's insistence that I take one. Usually it's Isabela… I've talked to Emmit on many occasions, usually meeting him at the Hangedman or in the Hightown Markets. Despite how much I am trying to avoid the Hawkes now, I still cannot follow through with it. I've just been scarce around Leandra, hence how I've yet to visit the Hawke Estate.

Also, with Isabela's training and the need for information, I gathered enough coin to purchase my own little hovel nearer to the docks after the first two years. Not an estate, I know, but not all of us can afford one nor want one. It's clean, compared to Gamlen's, and it smells decent. It's not as conveniently close to the Hangedman as Gamlen's place was, but it'll do. I'm making a living, right? It helps with the consistent letters from Father and Daniel… I can't tell them EVERYTHING that goes on in my life, but the things I do they help me figure them out…

Three years, can you believe it?

-{~*~}-

I stay in the comfortable position my body obtained in my sleep, my muscles aching with yesterday's training session with Isabela. I'm a morning person usually, but today I feel completely out of it and have no motivations to get out of bed at all. Instead, I have motivations to STAY in bed.

I groan and finally push myself out of bed, my eyes sore and my body resisting my movements. After a bit of shoulder rolling and eye rubbing, I finally shuffle to where I keep my food. Once I acquire some stale bread, cheese, and my seasoned dried meat, I shuffle to my rickety table with the rickety chairs. I've yet to start a fire in the crappy fireplace, so a warm drink is out of the question. I pour me some water and finally sit down in front of my food…

Then someone knocks on my door.

I groan and let my head fall to the table with a soft thud, why now? After a few moments of listening to the knocking, I get up and answer the door.

Emmit.

I blink in surprise, "Emmit? Don't you have a visit with the Viscount?"

Emmit shrugs and says, "Well, I did visit the Viscount. I have to speak with the Arishok…"

I chuckle, "No rest for the wicked. You're going to be in another mess of trouble again, just you wait. Something or someone is going to want to kill you."

Emmit smirks, "Yes, I'm just that fascinating."

"So if you are to speak with the qunari leader, why are you talking with me?" I ask, genuinely curious.

He crosses his arms, "I'm here to give you a tour of the estate, and Mother has been asking a load of questions about you. I think she's about figured out you've been avoiding her."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, contemplating a response. I've truly been avoiding Leandra lately, hoping she wouldn't figure out. I don't hate her, I just… Can't look at her... I cannot find in myself the ability to speak to the kind woman. Guilt really hurts, you know….

I shake my head, "Let me get my stuff…"

Emmit gives me a concerned look, but doesn't push. I feel his eyes on me as I walk across the space to where my satchel sits on a barrel of water. I pull it, but it slips from my grasps and lands on the ground. Papers splay across the floor and I sigh, squatting down to clean the mess up. I pile drawings and scribbled notes, fliers and letters. Once all are bundled and organized, I slide them back in my satchel. I stand up and begin bundling my breakfast into a cloth to eat on the way to the estate. I walk back to Emmit and he gives me a sad smile, the shadow of facial hair surrounds it. He's trying to cheer me up, I know, but sometimes things are best left alone. Particularly this.

We walk in silence to Hightown, me eating my cheap food slowly as to have an excuse to avoid any certain topics Emmit might bring up. He doesn't push things, but actually seems quite happy right now. I know I wouldn't be in his place.

"If you ever need help with your place, you know you can talk to me." Says Emmit out of the blue. "I saw your crude attempts to patch that roof."

I flinch, having hopped he wouldn't see those. It's true that I've had… Problems with my hovel, like leaks and rodents. It's expected though; I'm living in a cheap hovel by the docks after all. I finish off my food and remain quiet.

"You can come to me if you need help, seriously Alexandra. If you needed it, I'll let you stay at the estate." says Emmit, his sarcastic tone nowhere to be found in his voice.

I sigh in surrender, "I know Emmit, but you also know I refuse to ask for help. I turned down your offer to help me get a place, so it's no different now."

Emmit shakes his head, "Asking for help doesn't show weakness Alexandra, and do not think it's a burden to us."

I cross my arms and say in frustration, "Look, Emmit, I've finally gotten my foot here in Kirkwall. I've got to support myself; I was depending on you guys for too long."

Emmit frowns and says, "Alexandra…"

I shake my head, "We've had this discussion."

"And you brushed me off." Counters Emmit.

I rub my temples and say, "The hovel is fine, I patched the leaks. Everyone knows to stay away, and I'm financially fine. You have no need to worry Emmit…"

He smiles a bit, "That's when I worry most."

I sigh and we walk in silence again, not bothered by it at all. I glance over at Emmit and study him; he hasn't changed much despite the events. He's still got that humor in his bright hazel eyes that bugged me when I first met him. He looks a bit weathered now, sure, but he still looks the same. I cannot say the same for me; I've changed quite a bit since we first met… And since Bethany….

"Enjoying the sights?" Emmit asks and I jump a bit, having been lost in thought.

I shake my head, "No… Just thinking…"

He looks at me with a smile, "About what?"

I look ahead, we're in the Hightown Market; surprisingly it's not crowded. "Things, differences, anything that comes to mind really."

Emmit nods, "Lots of things to think about now…"

I simply nod my head in agreement as we climb the few steps and navigate through Hightown. I do not want to know what he thinks about, he's done a lot of things that would scar a man for life. I'm content with my pitifully pitiful life, one that I find bad when I know it could be worse. Not long after, we're standing outside the Hawke estate which is not far from Viscount's Keep.

Emmit holds the door open and smirks, "Ladies first."

I snort at the absurd remark, but walk in none the less. The place is MUCH larger than mine, and decorated as to be expected with Emmit. We walk into the main room and I see Bandit snoozing by the fireplace, with the fire crackling inside it. Tables line the walls, cluttered with whatever Emmit occupies himself with. Only one table in the room is dedicated to papers, and it's a complete mess. I can't say Emmit is the neatest of people, but Leandra is. Maybe she just gave up on trying to get him to keep things tidy… Bodahn is quietly talking to Sandal, being the only noises besides the crackling of the fire and the soft snores of Bandit. The hulk of fur's chest rises and falls with each slow breathe, his expression far from what you'd expect from a war hound.

"It's a bit exaggerated, but better than Gamlen's." says Emmit after I finish studying the main room.

I grin, "Better? This is ten times better than Gamlen's. You're lucky."

"How about you take a look at the library while I go and change? I'm sure there are plenty of books you'd like to look at." says Emmit, who awaits my response.

I wave him away, "Go do what a noble does. I have books calling my name."

Emmit grins and then leaves, I walk into the room where I'm guessing the library to be. Sure enough, up the steps are shelves of books. The room is cluttered with chests that surround a fireplace. To my left is another table covered in papers. I walk up the steps and begin scanning the shelves the first book my eyes land on is the book I got for Emmit while he was on the Deep Roads venture. I blink in surprise and pull the book off the shelf, noticing that the binding holds the evidence of the book opening and being read constantly. Pages had corners folded and unfolded, hints of where he would stop. I'm surprised he would take such an interest in such a common book. Then I reach the back and see scribbled on the back is "From Alexandra". I instantly shut the book and place it back where I found it. Then I walk to where a table is that has many spirits sitting on it.

It is only then that I hear someone at the door I lean over the railing and see Bodahn answer the door to find Aveline. I smile a big smile at the sight of my scare warrior friend.

"Aveline!" I call down to her.

Aveline looks up and gives a questioning look, "Aexandra? What are you doing here?"

"Getting a personal tour, what about you?" I ask her, resting my folded arms on the railing.

"I've got a-"

"A problem you want Emmit to fix? Wow, everyone needs his assistance today." I finish her sentence for her.

"Maybe it's something in the water." I state. "I'll be right down Aveline."

I push off the railing and sprint out of the library like area to the main room where Aveline stands at the doorway. "So-"

"You guys planning to slaughter me in my sleep?" asks Emmit in a humorous tone.

I turn around, "You're back. Aveline actually came to discuss…"

I look back at her, "What exactly is the problem you want Emmit to deal with?"

Aveline crosses her arms, "I've got a pest problem. You remember Ser Emeric? Well, he's asked for you specifically. He wants you help in official sanction."

"Another? Wow, I'm popular. It's not often you get called by name for things. Official sanction?" Comments Emmit in his usual sarcastic tone.

"Ferelden refugee, now personally being asked for your audience? Not only that, but a mansion in Hightown. You're taking strides my friend." I reply a smile playing on my lips.

Aveline shakes her head, "Emeric is convinced that every random murder over the past years is connected, and he won't be quiet."

"He's lost his brains if that's the case. Bad things happen in Kirkwall, but they're not connected in some grand evil scheme." I say waving the idea away. Crime is just a large part of Kirkwall, I doubt it's all more than just stupid people doing evil things. Nothing more.

"Either way, I came to ask Hawke." Says Aveline.

"What, you want me to chain him and gag him?" asks Emmit.

"If it keeps him quiet, sure. That's all I came for." Says Aveline.

When Aveline leaves I lean against the fireplace, "The public awaits."

Emmit sighs and rubs his temples, "I was supposed to be giving you a tour…"

I smile sadly, "Don't worry, I'll show myself around. If I need help, Bodahn can help me. Go play hero, otherwise you'll be forgotten."

Emmit frowns, "Is being forgotten so bad? I thought that that's what I should be doing."

I cross my arms, "That haven't put you and your magic on display yet, so…"

Emmit nods and gathers his stuff from his storage chest. He slips the armor-like robe on and buckle the straps. He slips thick boots on and slides his golden colored staff into it's holder and says," It's funny how easy this is now."

I stand up straight and say, "Stay safe."

He gives me a worried expression, "That goes for you as well."

"When have I ever caused worry? Alight, don't answer that, but really. I'll be fine. It's not like the mansion is filled with darkspawn." I say, trying to mimic his usual sarcastic tone.

Emmit nods and walks off saying, "See you later."

"See you." I say in turn.

Then I turn on my heel and walk up the steps only to… walk into Leandra who just opens the door to her room.

I freeze and so does she, we stand there in silence just staring until…

"Alexandra? This is an unexpected surprise. I thought I heard Emmit talking, but I could of sworn I heard Aveline." Says Leandra as if we had just spoken yesterday…

I swallow the lump in my throat and hesitantly answer, "Aveline was here… Emmit just left not long ago to get some jobs done, and I'm just… Giving myself a tour since he isn't here to do so…"

Leandra blinks, "Well, that won't do now will it? I'll show you around."

I begin to panic, "I've al-"

"I suppose my son has already showed you the library… So, this is my room and that over there is Emmit's room. I do wish he'd keep the main sitting room as neat as his room though, but that's just a hope." Says Leandra.

I glance at the room Leandra pointed out as Emmit's room then back at her, "Do you think he'd mind if I take a look around his room..?"

Leandra walks down the stairs and says, "He hardly cares who goes in and out of his room. Do try to keep things in place though, dear."

I grin at this and head into Emmit's room, only to stop in surprise. It is relatively clean, and paw prints are on the bedding on a neatly made bed. I smile and go over to the desk, reading the memoirs. I see a slip of paper and sigh.

Ander's manifesto…

I lay it back down and wonder how one of them ended up in here, but give up on thinking on that as I walk over to the bed and sit on it gingerly. Leandra appears at the door and is holding the book Emmit repeatedly reads.

"You know, he's very fond of this book." She states.

I nod, "I saw the wear when I spotted the book in the library."

Leandra opens it, "The only books I saw him truly interested in were the books his father gave him while he was being taught to use his magical abilities… Then this book comes along."

I raise an eyebrow, "And it's important how? He's interested in a book."

"From you."

I look at her confused then realization comes to me and I feel a slight blush creep to my cheeks, "I'm sure it's just fascinating to him for others reasons. It has little to do with it being from me."

Is his mother playing match-maker? I inwardly groan and wish to just leave. I like Leandra, sure, but this is just awkward… Why would she even come up with such an absurd theory… Well… No, it's absurd.

"Maybe, but I find it hard to believe he takes such an interest in one book so much." Leandra says as she places the book on Emmit's desk and leaves.

I sit there in silence, my eyes on the oh so common book I picked up for Emmit three years ago…

I sigh and spiral myself out on the bed, wondering if I should leave… No, he'd panic if I'm gone when he comes back. What if I left a note… No… I close my eyes only to instantly open them again and get off the bed. I can make use of this time and practice. The cutlass handing on my belt awaits it exhilarating energy of slicing the air, or invisible foes. Sometimes, if it turns in that direction, there are real foes.

I draw the thin weapon, the guard covering my hand. With quick steps, my feet stumble not as I rehears the several complicated motions. Sometimes I step and duck to my right, swinging to where it would pierce an armor opening at the armpit, or dancing around an invisible foes only to quickly whip around and thrust my blade up into an invisible break in armor. Isabela taught me much, even though she uses daggers. I love this weapon though, and it's uncommon in Kirkwall. I've yet to see anyone carry one, which means I have an upper hand when in a fight here. It feels easy in my hand, balanced… I finally stop; sweat having become a thin cover over my skin. I sheathe the cutlass and lay back down on the bed, planning on fixing it in not too long…

I roll over to my side and rest my head on my arms then…

I open my eyes and try to process where I am…

My eyes widen and I jump straight to my feet, looking around confirming my guess.

I'm still at the Hawke estate!

"Have a good rest?" asks a tired voice behind me.

I jump at that and spin around to see Emmit rub his tired face. He's in a chair, and by his position I'd say he slept in that chair. Guilt slams into me, but cannot compete with my embarrassment. I cannot believe I even fell asleep in the first place, but falling asleep in the Hawke estate?! I'm going to die.

Emmit stands up and stretches, "You've slept for a while… Makes me wonder if you slept at all last night."

I shake my head, "I had an hour, but-"

"It's fine Alexandra, I cannot blame you if you were so bored you fell asleep. Honestly, I'd of been the same way." He interrupts with a tired smile.

I twist my hands around, "I should… I should go back to my place. It cannot be too late…"

Emmit shrugs, "It's night. Thugs are out."

"I can deal with a few thugs." I say.

"I don't doubt that now, but I'm sure there's no problem staying." He says, leaving me no way out of this.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, "Fine, I'll hang out in the library."

Emmit holds up the book Leandra had questioned me over, "Thanks for the book by the way."

I nod and quickly escape the room, panic enveloping me. I've just gotten myself in a mess of trouble today… I sigh a sigh of relief as I enter the library-like area and shut the door behind me. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, opening my eyes as I exhale. I like the Hawkes, sure, but this was just embarrassing… I shake my head and walk up the steps to begin scanning the shelves of books. A few things catch my eye, but I feel little motivation to read a book. I end up sitting down on the ground and leaning against a statue, thinking over what to do. My coin purse is getting low, so maybe I can accompany Emmit around on one of his jobs, I'm sure he'll need the help. I close my eyes and think over the letters from Father and Daniel.

I open my eyes and instantly go to my satchel, searching through it, looking for that one letter… I feel my heart stop as my search has no avail. The letter from Father isn't here like it usually is. I bite my lip and close the satchel again, I had kept that letter close. Father had said to open it when needed most, and so I kept it with me in case the time should ever come along… I shake my head and rest my head on my knees, thinking of where it could have gone… I've not taken it…

The water barrel.

When I left this afternoon, everything from my satchel had fallen out. That must be where it is… I hope…

Then my mind comes back to the current situation and I sigh again, wondering why I cannot just keep myself away from thinking about it. Then a knock comes from the door and it cracks open.

"Alexandra?" asks Emmit's voice.

I stand up, "This is your place, no need to knock."

He walks in and says, "I have to respect others you know, well… Most others."

I walk down the steps and lean against the fireplace, "Any particular reasons why you're visiting you're unexpected guest?"

He rubs the back of his head, "Um… I actually just couldn't sleep. No one else is awake."

"And so I'm the one you come and talk to." I remark.

"That's basically it." Emmit replies.

And so we talk over random topics, and the rest of the day flies by. I end up leaving to go back to my place offering my help for any jobs if he needs it and nothing more. To be honest, I felt less embarrassed once I left.

I couldn't find the letter, but maybe I'll find it once I need it. Not that I've given up finding it, but that… Well, it'll be found when I need it. Either way, the day went by interestingly…

Tomorrow is a new day.

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_Act 2, I didn't expect to reach this far into the story when I first began it. Yet here it is, though different than I expected. I had originally wanted her to have an in-depth conversation with Leandra then go home, but this is how it turned out. I hope you enjoyed Alexandra's rather confusing thinking process._


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